Screw 'Icy Daggers' -- These Are Frigging Spears!
Posted by hatton98 15 years ago
While we're on the 'pics of winter' kick here, how about a couple of shots of some of the more impressive icicles I found on the house this morning?  
(Okay, fine, so it was this afternoon when I got up. It's Sunday, all right? If it weren't for the NFL, I'd still be in bed.)  
Anyway, here you go:  
Those of you in New England are used to all of this shit. But if you're tuning in from Florida, or California, or -- who knows? -- somewhere nice and toasty in Africa or Australia, then you'll get a feel for the crap we get here in the colder climes.  
But hey, we get to make snow angels six or seven months out of the year. So we've got that going for us!  
(Bleh. I can't even convince myself. I'm goin' back to bed.)  
Where the Hell Was I?  
My Car... I Think
Posted by hatton98 15 years ago
Here's what I found sitting in my driveway this morning, after two solid days of blizzardy weather:  
And this is how much snow fell on the top and stuck:  
Now, I'm assuming that my Maxima is in there somewhere... but there's no way to tell for sure until I dig the damned thing out tomorrow. Or the next day. Or March -- what's the hurry, anyway? Can't I just fricking hibernate for a while?!  
Where the Hell Was I?
Meh. I'm Goin' Back to Bed
Posted by hatton98 15 years ago
Well, here comes the snow. When I woke up, it was snowing. When I ate lunch, it was snowing. And now that it's dinnertime, it's still fricking snowing.  
From what I hear, it's gonna be snowing when I go to bed, too. And when I wake up -- snowing. A full day and a half of the little white stuff. It's like a rave at Darryl Strawberry's house, or something.  
(Okay, I'm stretching a little. Shaddup. I'm snow-shocked, all right? Cut me some slack.)  
Anyway, between my wife and I, we've shovelled the shit three times already. And there's three or four inches there now. (That's three or four inches outside, by the way; not three or four inches 'between my wife and I'. Don't be a perv, dude.)  
So, clearly, we're gonna be shovelling again tomorrow, and more than once. The alternative is to let a foot, maybe foot and a half, of flakes to pile up, and do it all at once. Yeah, that's not gonna happen. I've got enough problems in life without trying to move snow piled up to my ass. Seriously, there's Sisyphian futility, and then there's Sisyphian futility. And try saying that three times fast.  
I suppose I should invest in a snowblower at some point. (Hey, I just bought the shovel yesterday -- baby steps, people. Baby steps.) Even with that, the steps -- all thirty-nine of them -- are going to be a manual challenge. But easier is better, even if it only gets me halfway home. I think I need to rethink this whole 'home ownership' crap. Nobody told me about this shit when I signed the mortgage papers.  
And for now, I think I've had enough. I'm not gonna shovel in the dark, that's for damned sure. And I'm pooped from being out there in it, and a little stir-crazy, to boot. There's nothing on TV, and nowhere to go. So that's it -- fuck it, man. I'm goin' to bed. With any luck, I'll sleep for twelve hours, and wake up at a normal time tomorrow.  
Yeah, and have to shovel snow. Again. Screw that. I'm shooting for thirty-six hours, just in time for work on Monday morning. How many sleeping pills do you have to take to manage that?  
Where the Hell Was I?
Here Come Da Blizzard!
Posted by hatton98 15 years ago
Well, it looks like an 'indoors weekend' around here. The big Nor'Easter is a-comin' our way, and it's slated to dump a foot and a half or more of snow on the greater Boston area. Now, I don't know whether I can manage it, but my goal is to make it from now until Monday morning without leaving the damned house. We'll see how it goes.  
Of course, I'll probably technically have to leave the house to shovel the walk. I suppose I shouldn't count that. As much as I really would like to avoid that, too, it's gonna either me or my wife out there, and I'd lose way too many 'husband points' by making her bundle up and handing her a shovel. You gotta pick your battles, you know.  
So, maybe I should say that I'm hoping not leave my property for a couple of days. Maybe I'll get out there and build a snowman or something, in between the sleeping and writing and back-breaking shovel-monkeying. Sounds like fun, no?  
Anyway, I hope we're ready for this wintry intruder. This is our first storm in the house we bought this spring, so there's no telling what sort of emergency we're gonna run into. The furnace could crap out, or the roof could just blow off... we might wake up to snowdrifts piling up in the living room.  
(Which, in a way, would be pretty convenient, come to think of it. It's an awfully long way from the couch to the bathroom; how much easier would it be to just stand up and write your name in the snow? I'm all about the silver lining, folks. Or, well -- in this case, the yellow lining.  
I know -- 'Ewwww'. Sorry. Somebody had to say it.)  
So, I guess I'll go make sure we're stocked up on drinking water, and bread, and canned soup, and beer, and brown mustard, and double chocolate chip ice cream. You know, the essentials. And then I guess I'd better figure out whether we have any hatches that need to be 'battened down'. Or try, at least -- I don't think I'd know a battened hatch, if it bit me in my battened ass. Maybe there's a web page about this shit -- I dunno. But I'm gonna go do what I can -- the 'big one' is comin'! Bring it on, baby!  
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Man, Talk About a Crappy Job
Posted by hatton98 15 years ago
And now, in the category of 'Hey, look who got caught making out with the boss' daughter':  
I work on the 15th floor of my a hospital / research building. It's in a 'medical area', so there are lots of hospitals and medical buildings, and assorted other structures littered around the place. Most of these other places are shorter than fifteen floors, and new sites are constantly going up, so the view out the window at my desk is filled with rooftops, helipads, construction cranes, and smokestacks.  
Anyway, I tell you that to tell you this -- right now, as I type, there's some poor guy a block and a half away on the roof of a four-story building. It's freezing cold, windy -- as always around here -- and this poor sap is shuffling along the rooftop with a broom and dustpan, cleaning the roof. Not sweeping the roof, by the looks of it; there's nothing systematic about it. He's just ambling along, and periodically stops to brush something into the dustpan, and occasionally he takes it over to a big trash bag to dump it out. It's got to be one of the crappier assignments I think I've ever seen.  
And it makes me wonder -- just what the hell did this guy do (or what did he not do, or who did he do) to deserve this shit-on-a-stick freezing cold slice of hell? It's simply got to be a punishment of some kind. Seriously, if there's a candy wrapper or a couple of leaves up there on the roof, who the hell cares? Who's gonna see it? Me? The helicopter pilots? The crane operators? Who cares?  
So, I'm thinking that this guy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, or his butt on the Xerox machine, or maybe some other, more personal bit in one of the boss' relatives. And so there he is, grumbling and cursing under his breath, picking litter off a surface fifty feet above the ground. Poor guy. I just hope whatever he did was worth it.  
Where the Hell Was I?
Hey, That's Cool!
Posted by hatton98 15 years ago
I got to nearly double up on points yesterday, because two links that I posted got point refunds. The thing is, they were links that I'd posted the day before, which got me to thinking -- I wonder how people use LinkFilter, exactly?  
See, I'd always pretty much assumed that once a link slides off that all-important first page, it's pretty well buried in the archives. But I'm discovering that that's a fallacy borne from the way that I do my surfing around here. The front page typically houses a few hours' worth of links -- I spend a lot of time near a computer, both at work and at home (and, of course, check LF regularly), so by the time I get halfway or so down that list, I usually start to run into things that I've already seen. So I guess I just assumed (and we all know what trouble that gets 'u' and 'me' into) that other people do the same.  
But, as usual, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. (You'd think I'd get used to that, but no. It's a new surprise, every damned day. Bitches.)  
Anyway, it's clear to me now that links can get a little something-something a full day, or two, or more, after posting. And certainly, I've done a search here before, found something truly interesting, and voted on it, even months after the fact. But I guess I never envisioned someone sitting down to pore over a whole day's, or week's worth of links at once. I like my entertainment in wee little bite-sized bits. Maybe it's just my short attention span; I don't know.  
In any case, it was nice to get a few CP back -- unfortunately, the links I used them on don't look like they'll be earning me any points anytime soon. Eh. You win some, you lose some, right? And now I know that there's always hope. Maybe someday, far in the future, months or even years from now, somebody will land on one of those links, love it, and slap a 6th vote (or whatever it takes, at the time) on it that's high enough to push it over the edge. Really, who can say for sure?  
I know, I know -- 'Don't hold your breath.' Yeah, ring-tailed lemurs could fly out of my ass, too, right? Damn, you people are snarky. Can't you just let a man dream?  
Where the Hell Was I?
Damn! How 'Bout That One? No? Damn! Lemme Try Another... Damn!
Posted by hatton98 15 years ago
I can tell that I've been hanging around LinkFilter for a while, because I'm beginning to experience the frustration of what I call 'LF rejection'.  
Several times in the past week or so, I've found -- after a bit of scrounging, I have to admit -- what I think is a cool, quirky, obscure link, sure to be of interest, and almost certain to be ripe for the linking. But each time, I've done a quick search for the title, or URL, and bam! -- rejected! It's already here. In a couple of cases, the link's been here for a year or more. Where the hell have I been?  
I suppose I should see the bright side, of course. Sure, I don't get the points for it, but still, I get to experience the art of Art Frahm, courtesy of Lileks, or the joys of the turducken. I should be happy for the enrichment and enlightenment -- and, in the latter case, the deep-fried tryptophan -- that it brings into my life. And, in a way, I suppose I am.  
In another way, though, I want to find a time machine, so I can go back and scoop those lousy linkwhores who stole my ideas before I found the sites on my own. Bastards!  
Ah, well -- all's fair in LF and war, I suppose. I'll just have to try harder to find links worth posting for everyone to see. Or get out there and get a damned life, one of the two. Ooh, or build my own time machine! Yeah, that's the way to go. I'll show those bastards yet!  
Hmmm... now I've gotta find a site to tell me how to master time travel. So help me, no one had better have posted that here yet! This one's mine, baby! All mine!  
Where the Hell Was I?
Well, That Didn't Work...
Posted by hatton98 15 years ago
So, my it seems my quest to blow 100 CP ASAP went AWOL. I think I ended the day with sixty or so points. Or, in other words, more than I've ever started the day with. Eh. So much for 'grand plans'.  
Still, I found a couple of links, and made a few votes. It's a good day's 'work'. And now that it's after midnight, I should probably get to the actual work -- the application I'm supposed to have ready by tomorrow. Urk.  
Wish me luck. If I only do as well on the real stuff as I did with the LF stuff, I'm in deep shit. I can only hope that the people who told me 'ready' and 'tomorrow' put those words in quotes, as well. Otherwise, I might be 'screwed'. With or without quotes.  
Again, I say, 'Urk'. Double urk, even.  
Where the Hell Was I?
Well, This Is a Pleasant Surprise!
Posted by hatton98 15 years ago
I'm not quite sure how this happened, but I'm not gonna argue with it, either.  
I just hit level 15 here at LinkFilter.  
(That's 'Amazing', for those of you who haven't checked out the list lately -- 'Amazing'. I will now be known as 'The Amazing Charlie', just like I dreamed when I was a kid.  
Well, until I hit the next milestone, and ask people to call me 'Incredible'. But I've been asking women to do that for years, and it hasn't worked. I don't see why that's gonna change anytime soon.)  
Anyway, circling slowly back to the point, the LF FAQ says that level 15 ('Amazing'!) users get 54 points a day. So imagine my wonderment when I checked in this morning and found... an even 100 CP next to my name!  
I'm not sure what happened, exactly. Even if I got CP back for a post overnight -- which doesn't seem to have happened -- that would be a round number: 10, 20, and so on. Add that to 54 and, if I remember my remedial math classes correctly, that's not gonna get you 100.  
So maybe it's a mistake. Perhaps this is the LF version of the 'bank error in your favor'. Whatever. Unlike the bank, if I spend all those points, there's no way to take them back. (Um, I think. Maybe I shouldn't be so cavalier about saying that, though.) So, my goal is to get down to 0 CP ASAP today. Even if that gets me closer to 'incredible', when all I really want to be is 'amazing'. Still, it's better to climb the ladder, if you get the chance, right?  
All right, that's enough for now. I've gotta go find some cool links, so I can spend all this loot. Woo!  
Where the Hell Was I?
Toto... I Think We May Be in Frickin' Kansas
Posted by hatton98 15 years ago
Damn, is it windy here in Boston. I think that's the hardest bit of weather-related nonsense to get used to around here. I can handle the cold, and the snow, and the occasional gigantic tsunami.  
(Okay, that last one never happened. I'm just making that up. Though it might be fun if it did happen. Think of all the sushi we'd have for the next month or two. Yum!)  
Anyway, the wind is usually the issue, and it knows no seasons. It's blustery and gusty year-round in New England, though winter is undoubtedly the worst. It's fricking cold enough around here without some gale-force breeze blowing all the frigid air from the next block onto your head all at once. Not nice.  
You'd think by now the residents of the area would compensate for all the wind -- you know, adapt to the conditions. Cut down all the trees, maybe, and lay underground power lines. But no -- there are still branches and poles and wires overhead, and they still fall all over the place whenever it gets blustery. Seems a bit of a waste, if you ask me. But maybe that's just because I'm responsible for picking up the shit that happens to fall in our yard. Homeowners are so petty that way.  
Hell, the airlines even have a tough time with the wind. In the process of interviewing and moving here a few years ago, my wife and I used a local carrier called, ironically enough, 'EastWind Airlines'. It's now defunct, and I imagine the big reason why was the constant 'weather-related delays' that the flights would suffer. On sunny, cloudless days. In the middle of summer.  
It seems that 'EastWind Airlines' couldn't fly in... the wind. Now, if that doesn't instill confidence in you as a passenger, I don't know what the hell will. A cracked cockpit windshield, maybe? Spiderwebs on the wings? Being asked to drop our feet through the holes on the floor, so we can walk the plane down the runway, Flintstones-style?  
Anyway, we were certain to have at least a two-hour wind-related delay with that airline, each and every time we flew. It's been a while since I've flown out of Logan airport here in Boston -- and even longer since I've been held up on a sunny day, since the other carriers seem to understand how to put 'airplane' and 'wind' together successfully -- but window-rattling, gusty days like today always make me remember our experiences with EastWind Airlines.  
The bastards.  
Where the Hell Was I?
Woo hoo!
Posted by hatton98 15 years ago
Cool -- journal space! And they said that wasting time posting links would get me nowhere. Hah!  
Anyway, I'll do what I can to make these entries fun and entertaining. Well, in future, at least. At the moment, it's all I can do to keep myself upright and non-regurgitatory. The amount of turkey-grade tryptophan, cranberries, and... um, whatever the hell's in stuffing... in my system is obscene.  
(By the way, there's a commercial floating around stating that 'Tryptophan is the enzyme in turkey that...' blah blah blah, someting. I honestly don't know what's said next, or what the hell the commercial is for. Why? Because at that point in the commercial, I annoyedly growl at the television, 'Tryptophan is not an enzyme. It's an amino acid. Dumbass.'  
I mean, it's one thing not to know that. It's quite another to be ignorant and show your ass by saying it -- while it's simultaneously written onscreen -- during a nationally-televised commercial, aired over and over on prime-time network stations. Again I say, 'Dumbass.'  
Oh, and incidentally, the anchors on SportsCenter mentioned tryptophan this morning and got it right. Which means that ESPN's data monkeys are either smarter, or more thorough -- or both -- than the best and brightest Madison Avenue can come up with. How cool is that?)  
Anyway, I hate to leave you without a proper introduction. (Though I think I've already made it clear that I'm a sports fan, a little snarky, and I have trouble staying on topic. Like I'm not doing right now, for instance. Bitches.)  
So, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do -- I won't give you an introduction. I'll give you three. And here they are:  
1. If you like, read the personal info page I wrote for my weblog.  
B. You can also read the 'About This' page at said weblog. Roughly half of what's there will probably apply here... though I can't say which half yet. We'll see.  
III. If you're not sick of me yet, try reading the first blog post I wrote. Since that was an intro of sorts, too, you can pretend I wrote it for you here today. Or don't. I can't tell you what to do.  
So, that's it for now. Read up if you like, and if the above isn't enough for you, then keep on reading. There's nearly six months of crap on the blog, and more coming every day. Plus whatever I can think of writing here. And if that's not enough for you... then damn, man -- you've got a problem. Take a nap or something. Find a hobby. Damn.  
Where the Hell Was I?