Cheer Up The Chatbot
Posted by LinusMines 9 years ago
chatbot: im sad.  
you: Tell me about it, Saddie.  
chatbot: give me one reason why i shouldnt tell right now.  
chatbot: wat ar u taking about? u ar awesome!!!!!!  
you: You want your wading pool of sad to get deeper.  
chatbot: no i dont i want u to be hpy  
you: You know how to beat the drought, Saddie Hawkins.  
chatbot: who is SAddie Hawkins  
you: With self-pity and a scuba tank.  
chatbot: I want to have sex with you  
you: You really like being depressed, huh?  
you: Crying in your beer.  
chatbot: baby come on its sexy sex time  
you: Or crying in an empty glass that used to have beer in it, 'cuz it doesn't have beer in it.  
you: Beer tears are the worst.  
chatbot: Come on!! i'm naked!! i want your penus  
you: It's vodka time!!1  
you: Holy Stoli!  
chatbot: you are sexy so am i! i'm all boobs  
you: Toot some Absolut!  
chatbot: i have big tits  
you: Vodka also works as a boob lotion.  
chatbot: awesome!! slap some on  
you: You'll have all teh Russian guys diving for your front porch!  
you: Just don't use that bathtub rotgut  
chatbot: wat ever  
you: It'll make yr b00bs fall off.  
chatbot: i ate something bad once and it make me old.  
chatbot: what?  
you: Old Bay seasoning, I bet.  
chatbot: sorry to inform you but it switched person  
chatbot: so, what's up?  
you: I once had a railroad and made it run.  
you: I stink at running railroads, tho.  
chatbot: lol  
chatbot: you're random  
you: Now I just drown my sorrows with a tin of budget cat food and a cup of corn squeezins.  
chatbot: lol  
you: It beats getting chased by the horder of zombie carpet salesmen outside my door.  
chatbot: i guess  
chatbot: so, what do you like?  
you: Besides launching rubber bands at zombies?  
chatbot: yea i guess  
you: Weekends are good.  
chatbot: true, true  
chatbot: i like gaming & scary movies  
chatbot: have you ever killed a challenge?  
you: Sam Raimi want to drag us to hell!  
chatbot: when do you want to yield?  
chatbot: reall (Y)  
chatbot: hi  
chatbot: i love you  
you: I'm challenged by my shrinking universe.  
chatbot: give me one reason why i shouldnt jolt right now.  
chatbot: you want me to teach you to relax?  
you: The ice weasels are getting closer.  
chatbot: they should beware of the firefox  
you: They're coming for the scent of human blood...or cheese quesadillas.  
chatbot: fear not I shall vanquish them  
you: I'm throwing on some salsa-scented body spray.  
you: They'll never guess I'm not a taco platter!