Order in the journal.
The judge finds EMO to be violating three pillars of good taste in music
3. Revival of a decade (80's) for the malintent purposes of ruling the world with Hot Topic as it's second hand man.
Before we start, let me give you a rather poignant idea that I believe will help you see it my way:
There is a difference between blogs and diaries. One is made for intent purposes of others to read it and participate in it, and the other is to hold personal secrets and beliefs to the owner's bosom. I'd like to think that the first should stress interactivity, while the latter stresses pure emotion. Nobody will care if your diary is incoherent and only readable for the owner, simply because that is it's purpose. However, I think without a voice of clarity
, this kind of writing is completely devoid of interactivity and thus has no real use of being on a blog.
Then again, I'm not going to control you, so do whatever the hell you feel like doing. But don't blame me if people hate your presence online.
EMO is a destructive machine that spews filth and pollutes the art we like to call "music". Only at the root--the populace--can we stop this beast. Therefore, I call these golden anti-emo
1. You are not the center of the universe. Get over it. We do not care about your insignificant matters. Don't bitch how boring life is--get outside and make it interesting!
2. You are not more awesome because you listen to music we haven not heard of. You also will not recieve additional coolness for owning vinyls.
3. Do not be anti-establishment if you own anything bought from Hot Topic. Do not claim to be anti-establishment if you do not do all of the following:
b. support yourself
c. attend rallies or other unofficial or offical gatherings.
4. EMO isn't the hippest shit since Hendrix. You are scum for thinking this. EMO is an amalgamation of lousy fads spawned for commerical purposes. Get over it. In five to seven years, plaid workshirts and angst will rule.
5. Do not bitch about failed relationships if you're the direct consequence of them (i.e. sleeping around, being a whiny asshole.) I will come over there and kill you.
6. Do not flaunt your box/horn-rimmed glasses. (Exception: Alex)
7. Do not redirect your elowel journal to another journal. That's just selfish and fucking retarded. If you want people to come to your blogger journal, joining another journal is not the way.
8. Do not tell people on one journal to view the other journal. It is bad enough you have two journals.
9. Do not talk exclusively
mindless about shit nobody cares about, especially in a community-based journal. A little blathering is good once in a while, but if you start making it a daily practice, God have mercy on your soul.
10. No exclusive use
of inside jokes. Nobody else gets it outside your (read: small
) circle of friends. If you explain with more clarity, people will read your journal. And if you bitch otherwise, I'm going to tear you a virtual new asshole.
CODICIL the FIRST:
11. Poetry, ruled as bad, shall be ridiculed to the point of extreme. Bad, defined as:
a. Lacking defensible purpose
b. Muddled/confusing vocabulary
c. Poetry created as a proxy to paticularly bad songs.
d. Nihilism void of dadaism.
e. Lacking nouns, verbs, and/or prepositions for no defensible reason.
f. "Tribute" poetry to any paticularly bad musicians or icons. Keep in mind that, again, nobody cares.
g. Poetry bitching about God hating you.
h. Poetry celebrating your awesomeness.
i. Poetry bitching about your ex. Why you won't understand that nobody cares for this
is hard for us to comprehend.
j. Anything which is taken from another source and not given proper sourcing (not limited to a footnote or bibliography although something less will in fact do) will be effectively shunned and thrown in the face of the disgraced author. As said in Deuteronomy: 'That poet must be put to death. You must banish this evil from among you.'
CODICIL the SECOND:
12: Music deemed as terrible shall be tolerated very little. Fitting notions:
a. Sparse mention of the terrible band is well-meaning, but obsession over a single band simply for the ill will associated with the pubscent ideal of "fitting in" is simply intolerable. Once you start growing mass amounts of facial hair (for the male, hopefully) or have proper facility to dress seductively (for the female, hopefully) this entire silly notion will be expelled and you Will Give Little Shite* about the matter.
b. Ubiquity--music that is EVERYWHERE in society despite lacking greatness is Terrible. Examples include certain periods of The Rolling Stones, Kiss, and Clay Aiken most certainly. However, you must keep in mind that this is not the source of the terribleness, rather, it's their lack of skill or rather uncreative works. In order for a band to be classified beyond ubiquitous, they must Go Underground* or become a Cult Figure*. Examples of rather well-made music of ubiquity-turned-cult may include Prince or Joy Division perhaps. On the other hand...
c. Indie--If a certain band lacks adequate amounts of proficience in music, and yet is relatively unknown, some EMO individuals find it fitting to show off their Indie Braggadocio* by claiming they absolutely love the noted Terrible, yet unheard of band. Thus, the unknowing audience of said EMO kid assume the band is superior to their own favorites, and the EMO kid as well is percieved as superior due to his band. Well, that's what the indie folk would prefer at least. I would describe examples, but when you think of it, the amount of terrible and unheard of
artists in the world is probably limitless. I'm sure if you really wanted, you could claim your cat was a totally hip indie band, and nobody would be the wiser (well, at least if your cat isn't named Pavement or something already taken. In fact, it's probably a gamble due to the sundry amount of band names out there.)
--Amendment to be continued--
(*= See upcoming segment "Lexicon Tax-EMO-Nomy" for interpretations on various vocabulary)