When you stomp without passion our balance is uncertain.
Posted by affiliate19 10 years ago
Slovak folk song "Nasa Macka By Se Vydavala" ("Our Cat Wants To Get Married") performed by Pachac a Juskanic Slovenska Orkestra, recorded circa 1929.  
From an original 78rpm disk, archived at the internet archive.  
Nasa Macka By Se Vydavala  
Our cat wants to get married  
Yesterday she promised it to her boyfriend  
Hey cat, don't do it!  
Who will catch our mice?  
Be careful little cat  
When you get married you will be stupid  
because your boyfriend doesn't want to work  
and you will become a beggar  
Hey tomcat, you've got sharp claws  
Don't walk around our walls  
You never do anything  
Except date our white cat  
______________________________ ___ _ _ __
We step lightly into the wonder of obscurity.
Posted by affiliate19 10 years ago
I am mesmerized watching people who love what they do so much that you love that thing more just for watching them do it.  
I want to love doing something that much.  
Aakash Nihalani
Posted by affiliate19 10 years ago
Zero Punctuation's Game Reviews.
Posted by affiliate19 10 years ago
I'm not sure how I missed this guy. Wonderful.  
Here is #4, Bioshock.  
The #2 Psychonauts review is what locked me in as a fan.  
More featured @ escapistmag.  
More on LF.  
We are holding the Sun.
Posted by affiliate19 10 years ago
1. We are holding the Sun.  
2. It burns, and it is beautiful, and we can not let go of it. There are spots that jump from your eyes. They lick out towards me in a faux 3D of fire. Why are you looking at me when the Sun is in our hands? Look! It is the Sun!  
3. It burns, and it is terrible, and we can not hold on to it. The pain is a torrent of tears falling onto the Sun and it is spitting at us in distress. The Sun is spitting at us and why are you looking at me while we destroy a solar system? Look! It is the Sun!  
4. I could see the lamp falling in slow motion behind me. Periphery is a strange view. How can you trust seeing something that you are not actually looking at? It feels suspicious to trust a view like that. I felt the lamp a moment prior as my hip displaced it. I could have stopped it, but I think it needed to happen. Something needed to break.  
Tomorrow it is going to be 107o with the day after more critical still.  
It's getting hot in here.  
Do something.  
Sebadoh - Spoiled.mp3  
Joanna Newsom - Peach, Plum, Pear.mp3
One Ups!
Posted by affiliate19 10 years ago
Anyone catch the OneUps bump in Game Informer this month? Congrats guys!  
So, like, how the f*^( do 1 find w0rk?
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
It's been years since I've had to look for work. Now, every method I was once familiar with has been destroyed by scams, phishers, and spammers. I hate the idea that I've probably already handed over my resume to more than a few people I shouldn't have. And I thought I was pretty good at catching this stuff!  
What are the tested methods y'all are using out there? I'm all ears for any tips.  
I used to just physically go into a downtown and look for the largest building, head there, follow leads. Being remote this time around is preventing me from doing that - I'm much more reliant on postings. Even the newspapers are useless. When did getting a job become so difficult?  
Bad Religion - Come Join Us.mp3  
Lovage - Herbs, Good Hygiene, and Socks.mp3  
Infected with silence.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
Sometimes I feel pieces of myself close by, unified. I feel more complete than other times. It is as if the missing piece of a thought or feeling is not floating just outside of my head or heart and out of reach. I can feel the thought or feeling within me, and it is a part of the machine, and it is understood much faster and more easily than otherwise. This is when I feel peaceful and at ease. Life feels easy when I don't have to work to understand it. I feel this way when I drink sometimes. I feel this way when I talk to a friend and they just listen, and agree, and smile. I feel this way in large expanses of nature sometimes when the road is far away and I can't see power lines and it smells like California all around me. There are pine needles and poppy blossoms and ocean fog and I know where I am.  
I am feeling this way more and more recently. Sometimes, more than peaceful, I feel excited.  
It has been a long time since I wanted to explode with happiness. I want to explode with happiness now. I want to shake things and scream. I want to watch my computer monitor drop from the floor that I live on and gape as it goes kinetic. I want to force it to change beyond recourse and cheer the process. I want to bake a kinetic cake, never to be sticky flat batter again. I want to watch something rise. I want.  
I do not want to be alone in my ascent. I can feel a survivor's guilt creeping in and I am so very very sorry for those of you on the ground, but I don't know how much longer I can stay with you. I am strong enough for you to grab hold and I can carry you but you have to grab hold because I don't have enough arms to hold you all. I don't have enough arms, and I can feel a survivor's guilt creeping in because I don't. I wish I were stronger. I don't have enough arms.  
People talk about how the ground is all cool and all, but everyone wants wings. Everyone wants to fly. Sometimes I feel myself grow wings and I can fly and I want to fly away but there are so many people on the ground and I know it sounds stupid but it's true. They are on the ground and I feel like I can fly and I feel horrible for it and I am incomplete without those people and I don't know what to do.  
I feel complete, and I want to explode with happiness, but then when I lift off I feel incomplete and unbalanced and scared and I am a bomb.  
The Plan.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
Isabel told me that I am a scientist.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
Isabel Briggs-Meyers told me that I am a scientist.  
By knowing this I am less confused about many decisions I have made in my life. When I was 5, I would often mix up random household products in an attempt to make scientific elixirs. Fearing my own bias in evaluating these potions, as any objective scientist might, I never drank them myself. Willing or unwilling, many neighborhood kids paid the price for progress during those years.  
I like to observe things. Specifically, I enjoy observing the Ladies. Sometimes I hypothesize on how successful the future life I will not have with various 7-11 clerks will be. I test these hypotheses by purchasing different things and recording the reactions from the Ladies. Why did Xotchilt-on-the-morning-shift frown when I purchased Flaming Hot Funyuns, and smile when I purchased a lotto ticket? That I do these things makes sense now, knowing that my introverted intuition is dominating my personality.  
For years I have placed tremendous value on, and had a need for, systems of organization. That my life is completely without order and completely unorganized only shows that I am not realizing my potential. Note to self: create a potion to organize my life. There is green food coloring in the baking cabinet.  
I am a scientist. All this artistry has only been confusing the issue. So, don't fuck with me. I can probably destroy planets if I set my mind to it.  
I am an INTJ.  
_________ ____ _ _ _________ _  
DoublePlusGood - Red Light, Green Light.mp3  
Small internet world.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
Okay, so that was trippy.  
Last night and this morning I've been cleaning up one of a series of papers on cybercrime and film. This one has to do in part with how they serve as indicators of where we are on the fear scale between real and perceived threat, as well as who is informing whom about that threat.  
ANYHOW, so I'm cruising the vast wasteland of teh w3bs, looking a little into cultivation theory, culture of fear, etc. and decide to take a turn towards future shock. This leads me to some of Alvin Toffler's work, and there's a reference to the "technological singularity". It's a term I've heard thrown around, but never knew the background of. I've understood it (mostly from sci fi books and movies, if I'm being honest) as the point at which machines become "smarter" than us to the point that they can control their own growth and design.  
So I hit the wickerpiddla to get a brief overview and starting point for expanded info on the term. Someone has beat me to the page.  
I think Champthom is building SKYNET.  
A better Cylon test.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
Somebody get an alcohol swabbed q-tip.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
Edit on ya momma.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
(All gone - thx ever'buddeh!)  
Howard Johnson Redlands blows.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
Also, I h8 priceline.  
This is the view outside my window.  
This is the view out my door. That large structure, incidentally, is the I10 freeway: main trucking artery for ALL OF F(*^&NG CALIFORNIA**. 18 wheels x infinity lull me to sleep this night.  
This is some weird tile in my shower. It has a male child on it.  
WTF, indeed.  
**Actually, this is probably the I-5. Still. It's a f(*&( freeway outside my window.
60 hours later...
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
It's been 60 hours. Having realized that Morrowind bored me to tears, how did I spend so long playing into Oblivion before noticing it was exactly the same game?  
The Elder Scrolls entrixelated me.  
I'll get you, Scrolls.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
‘I took a photo of you, from behind: you are walking with your feet in the water on the beach of La Jolla. You are 52. You are amazing. It’s one of the images of you that I like best.  
I looked at that photo for a long while after we got back home, when you told me you wondered if you didn’t have some sort of cancer. You’d already wondered that before we left for the United States but hadn’t wanted to say anything to me. Why not? ‘If I have to die, I wanted to see California beforehand,’ you told me calmly.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
Sweet Jesus, it's finally over.  
I am graduating. I am graduating from a state university, and with a bachelor of fine arts degree. On paper I have emphasized theory in the discipline of film during my years at said university. In reality I'm not totally sure if there was a single emphasis. There was a minor involved. It was theater. I read a lot of scripts, saw a lot of performances, wrote about them, and was given grades for my opinions. I am sure that I indirectly helped a few doctoral candidates along the way.  
It's taken me a long time to do this graduating thing, and I know that I made it harder than it should have been. It has taken me six years (including a year off in two separate terms along the way). I owe approximately $18,000 for my education; I paid off some of it along the way, and invested some of my excess loan allowances to mitigate future debt. A good call I think, if somewhat illegal. I still owe a lot. I started "late" at 23 years, having stalled out for a while directly out of high school. I feel "behind" in spite of the accomplishment before me.  
It's a little scary, graduating at Almost Thirty with nothing more than a BA in my hands. Still, some part of me is proud of graduating. I certainly didn't give it my all, but I gave it a hell of a lot more than I give other things in my life. I gave it the most of anything yet, I'd say. I hope that I can make that mean something here in the near future. I left a promising career with a company I really enjoyed being a part of to make this happen. The changes in the economy while I was in school have made returning to that company almost impossible, but, now I'll have this degree in my hands.  
Now I'll have this degree, and I have absolutely no fsking clue what to do with it. I mean, I know what I'm supposed to do with it, but I don't know how much it's done for me that I could not have done on my own. I argue with myself, and convince myself, on different sides of that argument just about every day. I have to make up my mind and be okay with it.  
I should gift myself for graduating. A trip, or a thing. Something bigger than a video game, and smaller than selling all of my possessions to tramp around the world for months on end. I need something to clear my head of all this regiment and structure and models and questions. I need something that isn't going to get me lost in the meantime.  
I need something that this degree hasn't given me, and that is very unsettling.  
Security, they said. Education secures your future. =\
From a list of reasons to invest in a catheter.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
# 22.  
April 4th.  
First LF dream.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
I had it.  
Two users, one prominent in the dream, the other not so much. Strange that they showed up in one of my fairly unchanged recurring dreamscapes.  
Russian Ripoffs.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
Lol. Via toofunnyplace.com  
#Edited. Clicky to view the rest.  

Gramps' Ham and Bean soup.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
So, it's a few days past the holiday, and we have several lbs of ham unable to be eaten before it spoils. I decided I'd try to extend its life a little by throwing it into a bean soup recipe my grandfather used to make. I can't completely recall it, so I'm keeping it really simple.  
You'll need:  
A hambone with a good amount of meat left on it.  
8 cups of H20.  
2 cups white beans, navy, northern, whatevs.  
1 large yellow onion.  
1/2 tsp onion powder.  
1/2 tsp garlic powder.  
1/2 tsp cracked pepper.  
to taste.  
My grandmother used to soak the beans overnight. I don't know why she did this, but people have told me there's a wives tale about this process preventing gas (I somehow doubt it). I think it's just for reducing the cooking time if you don't want to slow cook the beans over many hours.  
I like to cook the ham off of the bone first, strain it, and pick out the unsavory bits before putting everything into the pot together. This time we're substituting a lot of cut meat since we don't have the bone. I think the bone marrow makes a big difference in the flavor, but it isn't bad without it.  
Rinse or don't rinse the beans to control the thickness of the stock.  
Add everything into the pot at once. Slow cook for 6-8 hours on low heat, tasting along the way. You might want to add juice from cooking the meat off the hambone to taste.  
Again, this is a really simple version of this recipe and a good way to get a few more servings out of that 10lb ham. I'm all about working on this recipe so if anyone has suggestions please feel free!
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
Absinthe and Maple-Bacon lollipops! From the site:  
We're a San Francisco candy company with a sweet tooth and a short attention span. We're having fun experimenting with new flavors and watching the reactions of our friends when they try out our creations for the first time. We started waaaaaay back around Halloween of 2007 when we found ourselves with a lot of absinthe and no candy. One thing led to another, and we ended up getting picked up by a few candy boutiques and building a website, which got way more business than we'd ever expected it would.  
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
Interesting note, it doesn't actually use the Commodore's scroll register.  
Instead it's using sprites, possibly multi-plexed, and simply moves them down the screen, switching between bigger and bigger drawings of buttons, switching to the double-pixel mode for the largest. This is probably more efficient than using the scroll register since it allows a greater degree of dynamic allocation of the scroll subjects - using the scroll register requires a certain amount of stuff in memory ahead of time, and you'd have to scroll that while feeding the memory the changing nature of the buttons - on older machines most scrolling did not involve a whole lot of dynamic changes as this requires writes to memory while scrolling, wasting valuable time. With sprites, all you have to do is flip a register and increment y values, a more efficient solution.  
There's a part two for the truly geeky.
I just enjoyed a Samichlaus.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
It's sweet. I've never had a sweet beer. Takes a few sips to balance on the palette sharp and smoothing out quickly with a very creamy finish. There was little head but I might have poured it poorly (see what I did there?!) I think the bite on first sip is the alcohol - it's pretty high. 14%? 15%? This stuff almost tastes like a sweet wine, Moscato or something... or a dessert beer. Is there such a thing?  
I found a stock of bottles at a store down the street. Apparently the name is "Santa Claus" in English, and it's only brewed once a year on Dec 6th (day of Saint Nicholas). Is this rare, beer peeps? I'd like to start a brew cellar and bought one of these and a Duvel, hoping they were both beers that would mature well over time. I couldn't help but drink the Samichlaus, and will probably drink the Duvel soonish. I'll buy two of whatever I get in the future, but, has anyone had this? I feel like I should secure some more of them.  
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
I've been an off-and-on user of StumbleUpon, and would like to add other LF users to my profile. So, comment a user name if you've got one and I'll subscribe to your feeds!  
Mine: composite0 (with the profile pic of the 'Pup!)
This is why I flew into London and drove to Germany.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
at Hamburg Airport on 03/03/2008  
Also, because I can't bear posting it on the front page, the end of civilization as we know it:  
Whorelore: The Magical World of Warcraft Porn  
It's just a village voice article with small gallery, but definitely NSFW. And finally, in this last sentence I will deftly tie both links together through a somewhat witty closing.  
At least we know that there's nowhere to go but up from here.
Hamster fail.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
Missing operand after 'integrity' operator.
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
_______ _________ _ _ __  
The truth is, I have never known how to write from an honest perspective.  
I believe that adherence to factualism requires a faith in the finite, and a focus on events fixed in time that we cannot change. This is boring to me, linear, and sad. You and I, we are greater than truth! You an I could be epic. Imagine a future without the past, I think, and perhaps we will get there. Imagine a million futures; we can only increase our odds of actualized success through the attempt. Nostalgia is a tether, my dear. It is the weight that will slow our exponential progression towards the beautiful oblivion awaiting one hundred and fifty miles from here.  
Strong writers, they write truth. They write from an honest perspective. I love you too much to write an honest word. I love you too much to say how incredibly afraid I am of moving to that place, that nowhere place of flat gray skylines and decades-old GMC trucks, and of moving there with someone so full of confusion. The thought infects me with stillness, it is so connected to the truth. The thought is frozen. It is cold.  
My faith is in the infinite. It is placed in lies, dreams, and overwhelming partiality. This is why I will go with you to that place in spite of my fears. This is what makes it okay. Together we will move, be kinetic, and detonate in the carelessness of it all.  
__________ __________ ________ ___  
Stars - Take me to the Riot  
Jens Lenkman - Opposite of Hallelujah  
Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah (flac)
Posted by affiliate19 11 years ago
It's snafu.  
They've started putting plants on the show as contestants.