Posted by blarp 12 years ago
I almost feel bad for the public officials who are making such a fuss over this.. they just look so dumb.  
At least the suspects are certainly having fun.  
In a news conference, Rich told reporters he had advised his clients not to discuss the incident. Stevens and Berdovsky took the podium and said they were taking questions only about haircuts in the 1970s.  
When a reporter accused them of not taking the situation seriously, Stevens responded, "We're taking it very seriously." Asked another question about the case, Stevens reiterated they were answering questions only about hair and accused the reporter of not taking him and Berdovsky seriously.  
Reporters did not relent and as they continued, Berdovsky disregarded their queries, saying, "That's not a hair question. I'm sorry."
Don't mess with Chubby Bunny
Posted by blarp 12 years ago
A woman is dead after choking during a marshmallow-eating contest at the Western Fair in London, Ont.  
The 32-year-old woman died in hospital Wednesday, a day after collapsing offstage during a Chubby Bunny competition.  
The contest features people stuffing one marshmallow at a time into their mouth then saying "chubby bunny" until they can't say it anymore. The person who gags, chokes or spits out the marshmallows loses.  
Emergency crews who arrived on the scene tried to help the unconscious woman but couldn't remove the blockage in her throat. She was revived at the hospital, but later died.  
The fair has since cancelled the eating contest.  
not really link worthy, and not really funny - she died, after all - but for some reason i wanted to share this. i've been amazed at the skill of some chubby bunny participants. pretty gross..
celebrity roasts
Posted by blarp 12 years ago
This isn't really link-worthy, but I've been watching a few clips of celebrity roasts and wanted to share..  
First off, there's the guy who just bombs at Shaquille O'Neal's roast for Emmitt Smith roast. Pretty awkward, actually.  
And then there's Jeffrey Ross' monologue at the roast for Pamela Anderson. Good stuff..  
(Apologies if this has already been posted..)  
NSFW due to language
davey boy
Posted by blarp 13 years ago
apparently, dirk nowitzki hums songs in order to relax when taking free throws. lately, the tune he's been humming is "looking for freedom" by david hasselhoff. (#1 on the german charts in 1989, as if you didn't know!).  
the suns/mavs game is on right now. i don't really care who wins, so i'm not really paying attention. however, a little while ago, they had an interview with none other than david hasselhoff, who is sitting in the stands. pretty fantastic, especially when he impersonated his german friends who have been emailing him lately asking him about dirk. what a guy.  
sadly, i missed the halftime show so i don't know what charles and kenny had to say about it..
tee hee
Posted by blarp 13 years ago
from overheard in new york..  
Girl #1: Oh my god! I just heard that Katie Holmes had her baby! Katie Holmes had her baby, everyone!  
Girl #2: Xenu commands you to shut the fuck up while I'm on the phone with my dealer.  
--6th Avenue & West 4th Street
time travel
Posted by blarp 13 years ago
Mental note:  
In case I ever go back in time and wind up talking to a under-21 version of myself, remind myself that if I get busted trying to buy beer, just say "Congratulations, I'm from xyz auditing company. You passed! Sign this card." That'll go much more smoothly.
origin of "soccer"
Posted by blarp 13 years ago
taken from here (near the bottom)  
"What is the origin of the term 'soccer' ?" asks Stuart Fairbairn in Singapore.  
It's actually fairly dull, Stuart, if you were hoping for some amusing anecdotal reason for Americans calling football 'soccer'. The formal term for football is 'association football', which, even before generation text, was usually reduced to 'assoc', which very quickly became 'soccer'. So now you know.
How disappointing..
Posted by blarp 13 years ago
Image Hosted by  
what a way to wake up!
god shmod
Posted by blarp 13 years ago
Part of article taken from here.  
‘God is mad at America’  
Tuesday, 17 January , 2006, 10:55  
New Orleans: New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin suggested on Monday that Hurricanes Katrina and Rita and other storms were a sign that "God is mad at America" and at black communities, too, for tearing themselves apart with violence and political infighting.  
"Surely God is mad at America. He sent us hurricane after hurricane after hurricane, and it's destroyed and put stress on this country," Nagin, who is black, said as he and other city leaders marked Martin Luther King Day.  
"Surely he doesn't approve of us being in Iraq. But surely he is upset at black America also. We're not taking care of ourselves."
I thought that we only heard stupid shit like this from simpletons like Pat Robertson. This is depressing - are we back in the dark ages? This dude's in a position of power and he's blaming the hurricanes on "God" being mad at America? Can't he come up with anything else? For instance, perhaps the city shouldn't have been built below sea-level to begin with..  
And along similar lines, I'd be curious to know why "God" was mad at America when it rained yesterday. I'm assuming that "God" is just pissed off that the Colts and Patriots lost this weekend, but I'd like to get some confirmation on that. Hopefully Mayor Nagin will respond to my email.  
(For those who are wondering, I'm not a big fan of any religion. That said, I don't mean any offense to those who are. Stuff like this just infuriates me.)
level 21
Posted by blarp 13 years ago
I've finally entered the joy that is level 21. I think I'm gonna be here for a while. (Oh, level 22, you're so far away!) I'm as happy as a German at a David Hasselhoff concert!  
Posted by blarp 14 years ago
Funny slashdot comment on a story titled "Most Americans Want Gov't To Make Internet Safer". Clicky. I have no idea why I find it so funny.
hooray for footy!
Posted by blarp 14 years ago
According to this article, AC Milan and Chelsea are coming to the United States this summer for a little tour. They're playing each other twice, in Foxboro and Giants Stadium. Milan is also playing the Chicago Fire, with Chelsea taking on DC United.  
Gotta get me some tickets for Foxboro and DC!  
I'm actually pretty shocked that they're playing MLS teams because they'll be expected to kill them. Should one of the MLS teams win a game, it'll be pretty embarrassing.. but on the other hand, this is great for American soccer.  
It's gonna be wicked pissah!
Posted by blarp 14 years ago
hold your ears...  
god fucking damnit piece of fucking shit. my apartment was broken into again, my laptop stolen again, as well as a bunch of other shit. i'm fucking sick of this city. fuck fuck fuck.
Satellite radio's OK by me
Posted by blarp 14 years ago
I was recently given a XM portable radio (with the subscription covered for a few months). I was skeptical about satellite radio - why pay for it when radio's free on AM/FM, shortwave, and internet? It's not like I live in the boonies, so there's plenty on the dial.  
I'm now starting to understand the allure. In the past few years, I've gradually gotten to the point where I only listen to NPR on AM/FM. I can't bring myself to listen to Clear Channel/Infinity's crap. So I'm not really hearing music anymore.. (I know there are independent stations, but they're far and few between.)  
And with online radio.. I listen to online music stations, but they're usually just music, one song after another. I like hearing a DJ every now and then telling me about what I've heard (but not adversiting stuff). I know there are good stations like that out there, but I haven't found any that I really like.  
So anyway, I've been listening to a few shows with this XM thing.. and they're pretty good. I'm definitely impressed. There was a really good hiphop show with a bunch of old stuff from Ice Cube, Common, and Ice T. And it gets BBC World Service, which is sweet. Even has Boston traffic. And it works in my home stereo, in my car, and stand alone. It's a bit bigger than an ipod, but not significantly. The only downside so far is that if I bought the device for myself, I would've probably gotten a Sirius radio so that I could (1) get EPL broadcasts and (2) not support Opie and Anthony.  
Since XM's free for me right now, count me among the converted. I'll probably get sufficiently addicted to plunk down $13 a month for it when they start billing me. It's been a while since I listened to music, and this might even get me to start buying music again (although I have RIAA issues)..
An open letter from Malcolm Glazer to the Manchester United fans
Posted by blarp 14 years ago
Dear Soccer fans,  
As you all know, I've been looking to buy the United's of Manchester for a little while now. I've also heard that some of you may not be too happy about me using, sorry, buying the club in order to reach new heights and also, that I may not be a fan. Well fear not, as I'm writing this personal letter to let you know that I'm a genuine fan of you blue devils.  
I began rooting for the United's back in 1992 when our little Malcolm JR was practising those Soccer home runs out in the yard. I loved the way you turned defence into offence, and the way that Bobby Shearer used to top half it into the goal bag. Oh man, that play was hot. My son tells me that you even out-zoned your City rivals Southampton in the 4th quarter of the FA World series. As for your current team, that Rude guy is awesome!!!! I see a profitable future at the United, with the young talent of Cristiano Rooney (man, that guy can dance!) and Peter Shilton giving us hope in defeating the evil Russian tyranny which assaults the freedom of our beloved Soccer. With the marketing potential of those Neville brothers and that Pearce dude leading the team, we can all look to achieving our beliefs of a better future. Especially when I add Alexei Lalas and Cobi Jones to the starting 15.  
Now to you, the fans.  
I've been to see the United's play once before, and the respect you pay your team in silently admiring the play out on the pitch was overwhelming. Because of this, I've just purchased a new GBP45 million mansion in the Manchester to be close to you guys. And more good news is I'm planning to add an extra 10,000 seats through corporate boxes so more genuine blue devils can experience the play. What's with the prawn sandwiches I had to eat when I was there? Well, rest assured, it'll be super size prawn baguettes when I take charge. I can't wait to come over to the Manchester isles, as I love the country, especially the beaches and the hot chicks. I hope you can all see my vision of this future, with new shirt sponsors (Dunkin Donuts) and new team name (The Manchester Gloom) I'm sure things are looking bright.  
*Further good news for you guys is that I've just agreed a partnership deal with McDonalds, who will help in promoting the Manchester brand. This will involve re-naming the stadium to 'McTrafford' as well as an exciting launch of Manchester Gloom plastic fan toys in every happy meal. Cristiano Rooney will be the face of this campaign and during this; he will be marketed globally as Roonald McDonald.  
Take care dudes.  
courtesy of the world soccer weekly guys
Posted by blarp 14 years ago
stupid internet
Posted by blarp 14 years ago
argh. i don't know what the hell is going on with my internet. i've got comcast, which has usually been pretty consistent. now, it's on the fritz. i can connect just fine to some sites, but can't get through at all to others. and it's not just a few.. it's like i can only access half of the freaking internet. for instance, i can get through to here (whew!), but i can't connect to slashdot works, and works, but apparently doesn't exist. works, but doesn't. wtf? did somebody unplug half of the internet? perhaps i took a few too many crazy pills?  
eh, maybe it's good that the internet's broken here so i can get some work done.. still annoying, though.
Pi day
Posted by blarp 14 years ago
Repeat after me:  
"How I need a drink, alcoholic of course, after the heavy lectures involving quantum mechanics."  
Now you know pi to 14 decimal digits. Amaze your friends!
Posted by blarp 14 years ago
Guess it's time for another parade!
Beware of the bees
Posted by blarp 14 years ago
There's an amusing thread in the something awful forums chronicling the adventures of a bunch of SA goons in NYC last night fighting for their political party.. of ants. Or bees. I don't think it's front-page worthy, but it's somewhat amusing.  
[Edit: Less so now that the bandwidth has been exceeded.. but maybe it'll come back.]
Electoral College Voting Power explained
Posted by blarp 14 years ago
Many people want to abolish the electoral college, such as can be seen in link #63632. The argument given is that the electoral college gives too much voting power to the smaller (population-wise) states because there are fewer people per electoral vote.  
The author of this page argues that it's actually the other way around - people in the larger states have significantly more voting power than those in smaller states. The author has a rather lengthy setup, but the main results are here.  
The method he uses is the Banzhaf Power Index. The main idea is that a voter's power index is the probability that his/her vote can affect the outcome of the election (an underlying assumption is that there are two candidates). The way that Banzhaf and others calculate this probability for a voter of a certain state, like California, is:  
1. Look at all of the possible ways the other 49 states could go (2^49 ways).  
2. Look at the probability of a person casting the deciding vote in California.  
3. Combine these to find the probability of a person casting the deciding vote in California that bumps his/her candidate up from below 270 electoral votes to at least 270 electoral votes (ie, the probability that his/her vote wins the election for his/her candidate).  
Now, modern computers aren't capable of checking every case. Instead, the author runs a Monte Carlo simulation, which is akin to taking a large sample. Since they're choosing their sample randomly, it seems reasonable that the results from their sample should hold if they were to do all of the calculations exhaustively. (Also, it should be mentioned that the data used for the simulations are not taking proportional EC voting into account for states like Maine and Nebraska.)  
The result is that a Californian has more than 3 times the chance of affecting the election than a voter from Montana. Even compared to a voter from Wyoming, a Californian has 2.5 times the voting power.  
Here's a small example to illustrate what is going on here. Say there are four states: A, B, C, and D. Suppose A, B, and C each have 4 electoral votes, and D has 3 (all in winner-take-all schemes). So there are 15 total electoral votes. To be elected president, you need a majority, so you need 8 votes. This sucks for state D, because there is no case in which they'd be the swing vote. To win an election, you have to carry two of A,B,C. End of story. Winning D won't change a thing, so voters from D effectively have no voting power. A presidential candidate would just be wasting money by campaigning in D.  
Note: There have been real-world situations like this small example where a country had no voting power.
$10 burning a hole in your pocket?
Posted by blarp 14 years ago
It's not currently burning a hole in mine, but if it was, I could either buy a librarian action figure or two banana guards. Hard choice, but I'd probably go with the librarian. It comes with a librarian trading card - who can argue with that?  
In other news, this is my first journal entry. When I first joined lf, I was accumulating XP as fast as I could in the hopes of one day reaching level 15 and having a journal. I hit level 15 a few months ago and have since been completely unmotivated to write anything for the journal. That is, until I discovered the world of librarian figurines and banana protection. My, how the world has changed..