WARNING: Reading the following chatter thread will cause you to go to hell.
Posted by r03 7 years ago
r03> this beats ANY religious programming I have ever seen....WORD UP!
 
LowFlyingMule> that is hilarious
 
 
r03> if you dont already follow christiannightmares on tumblr...you should
 
!! LinusMines is around.
 
!! LinusMines just posted Meet the woman without fear.
 
 
FoolProof> what? no link?
 
r03> my bad
 
!! nikan is around.
 
FoolProof> followed. :)
 
 
Dyskolos> the German Pope claiming that "Christians" are the most persecuted religious group in the world is nauseating --- the Apostolic and Catholic Church he represents has for over 1,000 years been actively denouncing as heretics the majority of the Christians he claims to be speaking on behalf of
 
Dyskolos> another smoke screen from the man who collaborated with those who tried to conceal the crimes of abusive priests
 
Dyskolos> as he climbed the political ladder of the Church of Rome
 
FoolProof> QUICK! SOMEBODY MOLEST ME!
 
 
FoolProof> OOH!!
 
FoolProof> That's the stuff.
 
FoolProof> Molest means "bring a cup of coffee to", right?
 
LowFlyingMule> Here's your "cup of coffee" foop!
 
 
FoolProof> Thanks!
 
FoolProof> Everything in the world is PERFECT!
 
Dyskolos> did someone request extra cream?
 
r03> beat me to it...
 
 
Dyskolos> said the altar boy in the sacristy
 
LowFlyingMule> Say, what's on these wafers?
 
r03> to AB's mom
 
Dyskolos> extra cream coming up shortly
 
 
r03> I think you spelle 'coming' wrong
 
Dyskolos> you're such a lil stickler...prepare to be penitent for your pride
 
!! j d ess is around.
 
r03> just dont make me ring the communion bells while you "prepare the little bishop" this time
 
 
r03> thats creepy
 
Dyskolos> In 1857 archaeologists unsealed an ancient house on the Palatine Hill in Rome. Inside, carved into the plaster of one of the walls, they found this inscription.
 
LowFlyingMule> You'll get a premature annointing
 
Dyskolos> it's all kinda creepy, r03
 
 
> * * * Dyskolos hands r03 some flesh and blood for breakfast
 
Dyskolos> try it, you'll like it!
 
> * * * r03 was raised in the Catholic tradition...his parents are still lost
 
 
Dyskolos> i feel your pain
 
r03> they want me to come to some meeting with them to discuss my faith and worldview with some peeps in the parish....they may wish they hadnt invited me
 
r03> "no pressure" "just to talk:...yeah, right
 
> * * * Dyskolos has Catholics and Jews in the family tree and, so is familiar with manipulative guilt more than many others
 
 
r03> oy vey
 
LowFlyingMule> You can tell them all about Cthulhu and the other Great Old Ones, r03
 
r03> heheheh...YES
 
Dyskolos> dominus nabisco's shreaded wheat
 
 
> * * * Dyskolos makes the sign of the spaghetti
 
LowFlyingMule> heh...specticles, testicles, wallet and watch. amen
 
r03> I'll bring this to play to introduce them to my gods
 
Dyskolos> that concludes this morning's service...and now...PANCAKE BREAKFAST!
 
 
Dyskolos> wanna really get their sacrificial lamb, r03 --- tell 'em you've become a Unitarian
 
Dyskolos> i'd bring a rain poncho for when their heads asplode
 
r03> oh, GOd, no
 
LowFlyingMule> So they worship The Unit then?
 
 
r03> did you SEE the unit on that Christ?
 
> * * * LowFlyingMule annoints The Unit
 
Dyskolos> it's worse than you think ---- they worship the METRIC UNIT!
 
Dyskolos> IN FRENCH!
 
 
r03> he was hung like THIS
 
LowFlyingMule> There we go...now bow your heads low...no, lower.
 
LowFlyingMule> A little more...now turn around...
 
r03> wow, this lightning storm outside is really picking up
 
 
LowFlyingMule> Hallejuleah.
 
Dyskolos> the power of pasta COMPELS YOU!
 
Dyskolos> i'd move to low ground if i were you...blasphemer
 
pneum0nic> wait, why did jesus have a donkey head?
 
 
r03> soooo...what your saying is holding up this golf club from the roof is a BAD idea?
 
r03> jesus was a democrat, pneu
 
pneum0nic> heh
 
Dyskolos> that was an early "in your face, destroyer of the one true faith based on Jupiter and the panoply of true gods," pneu
 
 
r03> and possibly a furry
 
Dyskolos> that sheds a whole new light on things, r03
 
LowFlyingMule> hah
 
r03> it coulda been just good natured cosplay, but we arent sure
 
 
Dyskolos> we're all going to hell...where our eternal damnation will involve eternally listening to billy joel singing "only the good die young"
 
pneum0nic> couldn't 'ol Alexemenos just be trying to give a high five to the donkey-headed guy?
 
Dyskolos> the "mysteries" are unfathomable to the mortal man...so shut up and believe...and give the man in the dress 1/3 of everything you have
 
LowFlyingMule> could be worse dysko...could be "we didn't start the fire"
 
 
r03> I Corinthians 9:22 -- "I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some..." Jesus is a furry.
 
r03> he said so himself
 
Dyskolos> your exegesis is so clear, r03
 
> * * * Dyskolos pronounces r03, the New Paraclete
 
 
r03> when you're right, you're right
 
r03> take THAT holy spirit!
 
r03> John 14:16 -- And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— r03!
 
Dyskolos> and rainbows!
 
 
r03> DOUBLE rainbows
 
Dyskolos> and, yea, it shall be fabulous!
 
LowFlyingMule> My faith is restored!
 
r03> I can see!
 
 
> * * * LowFlyingMule falls on the ground and speaks in Donkey tongue
 
LowFlyingMule> ...which is how I normally speak, come to think of it.
 
LowFlyingMule> hmm
 
FoolProof> lol
 
 
r03> bow your heads and let us bray
 
Dyskolos> lol
 
!! nikan is around.
 
Dyskolos> (thunder crashing)
 
 
LowFlyingMule> ...and speaking of talking jackasses
 
Dyskolos> welcome to the new government under the "revived" Articles of Confederation
 
r03> if the lighting WASN'T about to strike, it sohould be now (NSFW)
 
Dyskolos> aaaaaaaand SCENE!
 
 
Dyskolos> CUT!
 
r03> where is my damn EVIAN?!!
 
Dyskolos> rotisserie chicken?! again!?
 
Dyskolos> moist towlettes, anyone?
 
 
r03> this craft service company sucks balls!
 
r03>
 
Dyskolos> they'd better not! all the actors on this set are union! if balls are gonna get sucked, the union had better be involved!
 
!! damanimichael is around.
 
 
r03> sigh...better call AB's mom
Alaska Air...
Posted by r03 7 years ago
!! LinusMines just posted Alaska Air Hates Families.  
!! bozino is around.  
r03>  
bozino> Alaska Air kicked my puppy.  
r03> I blame Sarah Palin  
bozino> Alaska Air knocked the ice cream out of my kids hand  
bozino> Alaska Air started the tea party movement  
r03> Alaska Air produces Jersey Shore  
bozino> Alaska Air spit in Channing Crowder's face  
bozino> Alaska Air bunted in the 9th inning of a perfect game  
r03> LOLOL  
bozino> Alaska Air broke the Large Hadron Collider  
bozino> Alaska Air knew the measurements for the Mars probe were supposed to be metric  
bozino> Alaska Air left the seat up  
bozino> Alaska Air drives 45 in the left lane  
bozino> Alaska Air wears white after Labor Day  
bozino> Alaska Air cuts in line  
bozino> Alaska Air took 16 items into the 15 items or less line  
bozino> Alaska Air pays by check  
bozino> Alaska Air wears stripes and plaid...together  
r03> O  
r03> M  
r03> G  
bozino> Alaska Air farts in elevators  
r03> Alaska Air pronounces 'nuclear' 'nucular'  
bozino> Alaska Air took the last popsicle  
bozino> Alaska Air wears black socks and sandals  
!! kingskyprawn is around.  
bozino> Alaska Air likes the toilet paper to come from the bottom of the roll  
r03> Alaska Air cancelled Arrested Development  
r03> Alaska Air leaves the faucet running while it brushes its teeth  
bozino> Alaska Air produced Ishtar  
bozino> Alaska Air leaves the lights on at night.  
r03> Alaska Air denies the holocaust happened  
r03> too soon?  
bozino> Alaska Air blew up flight 103  
bozino> Alaska Air invented the McRib  
r03> Alaska Air got my dog pregnant  
bozino> Alaska Air discovered Kim Kardashian  
bozino> Alaska Air invented reality TV  
bozino> Alaska Air drowns kittens  
r03> Alaska Air puts the milk back in the fridge with ONE SIP left  
r03> Alaska Air got Tommy CHong busted  
bozino> Alaska Air doesn't recycle  
bozino> Alaska Air takes a penny but doesn't leave a penny  
bozino> Alaska Air burns microwave popcorn  
r03> someone actually did that in my office today....yech  
bozino> Alaska Air has bad breath  
r03> Alaska Air puts the ice tray back empty  
bozino> we have a formal policy preventing microwave popcorn  
r03> Alaska Air plays banjo  
bozino> Alaska Air's banjo is out of tune  
bozino> Alaska Air uses PowerPoint  
bozino> Alaska Air doesn't swallow  
r03> Alaska Air pushes the close door button when you are running for the elevator  
bozino> Alaska Air hogs the overhead bin  
bozino> Alaska Air likes steak well done  
bozino> Alaska Air doesn't floss  
bozino> Alaska Air taunts happy fun ball  
bozino> Alaska Air didn't put the new cover page on the TPS report  
bozino> Alaska Air breeds bed bugs  
r03> Alaska Air gave my sister the clap  
bozino> Alaska Air does the macarena  
r03> Alaska Air is fly....like a G6  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> .  
FoolProof> c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-COMBO BREAKER!!  
bozino> Alaska Air used all the toothpaste  
r03> Alaska Air fills the chatter with '.'  
r03> oh, no that was foop  
r03> Alaska Air pissed all over the seat  
bozino> Alaska Air condones Foop's behavior  
r03> Alaska Air carries a vuvuzela everywhere  
bozino> Alaska Air didn't flush  
r03> Alaska Air is a hipster  
bozino> Alaska Air can't define porn, but knows it when it sees it  
bozino> Alaska Air splooged in AB's mom's eye  
r03> no, that was foop, too  
r03> (among others)  
r03> Alaska Air pops its collar  
bozino> yeah, actually, a bunch of us did that.  
r03> Alaska Air quotes Dane Cook all day  
bozino> Alaska Air doesn't use lube  
FoolProof> [some silly shit unrelated to Alaska Air]  
r03> Alaska Air's MySpace page is full of flashing text and animated gifs  
bozino> Alaska Air posted a poll that broke the sidebar  
bozino> Alaska Air thinks fish is meat  
bozino> Alaska Air plays with lawn darts  
bozino> Alaska Air parks in the handicapped spot  
r03> Alaska Air wears a snuggie out in public  
bozino> Alaska Air dogears library books  
!! Hugh2d2 is around.  
bozino> Alaska Air made Dwayne Bowe fumble  
bozino> Alaska Air voted no on Prop 19  
bozino> Alaska Air drives under the influence  
r03> Alaska Air says every line in the movie right before they say it onscreen  
bozino> Alaska Air left the car running  
bozino> Alaska Air shot JR Ewing  
bozino> Alaska Air writes malware  
r03> Alaska Air has $10mil stuck in Nigeria, but you can help them  
!! cyrano is around.  
bozino> Alaska Air pimps blue phentermine  
bozino> Alaska air steals wi-fi bandwidth  
bozino> Alaska Air was on the grassy knoll  
bozino> Alaska Air puts razorblades in Halloween candy  
bozino> Alaska Air doesn't like apple pie  
bozino> Alaska Air caused the financial meltdown  
bozino> Alaska Air bullies over the internet  
AB> Alaska Air gets up early, forgets to turn off the alarm clock, and locks the door.  
AB> Alaska Air won't stop calling me "Brah"  
AB> Alaska Air pops the collar  
!! cornpone is around.  
r03> did that one already  
AB> Alaska Air likes to loudly bang on the wall between your rooms  
r03> REPOST  
AB> TWICE, then  
AB> DOUBLE-DOUCHE  
r03> Alaska Air choses you as a partner for a project and then does none of the work  
> * * * AB blushes then runs off into the comforting arms of Alaska Air  
AB> oh AA, none of the things they're saying about you are true, are they?  
r03> IT'S  
r03> ALL  
r03> TRUE
I haz a project...
Posted by r03 8 years ago
My latest attempt at art:  
 
 
Starting June 1st, 2010, I am going to be visiting all of the public libraries I can.  
(I will also continue my current practice of visiting bazaars, yard sales and book sales on the hunt for new or interesting books)  
 
But this ISN'T ABOUT THE BOOKS!  
It's about what I find IN the books.  
 
I am frequently amused or amazed at the letters, notecards, pictures and other miscellany I find lost or forgotten between the pages of library books and acquired books. So, why not a photo series of these items?  
 
Maybe a few hoopy froods out there will be as interested in these found pieces of (mostly)anonymous personal history as I am.  
 
I wonder just how fruitful my dedicated search will be.  
 
I will let you know where I will be hosting these pics and you can see for yourself.  
 
 
Whatcha think?
Happy Limerick Day!!!
Posted by r03 8 years ago
There once was a man from Iraq,  
who's finger got caught in his crack.  
Mohammad was pissed,  
grabbed hold of his wrist,  
then gave his poor heiny a whack!  
 
(Via LowFlyingMule)  
 
 
In a flower show, Ned from Autralia,  
painted his butt like a dahlia.  
For color and size,  
it won the first prize,  
but the smell was a hell of a failure.  
 
 
 
 
 
Facebook Inspires Seuss-ish work
Posted by r03 8 years ago
Today a friend on Facebook posted the following status:  
 
"an afternoon alone with whatever plague I've contracted and Grandmaster Flash and Philip Glass. Briefly wondering if writing a similarly themed Dr. Seuss book would cheer on my immune system."  
 
My response:  
 
"A plague! A plague!  
The mites, the motes  
have invaded my eyes, my ears  
my throats!  
 
They have snuck up inside me,  
tasted me, tried me  
I told them to stop, to leave:  
They defied me!  
 
No doctor, no shaman, no healer I've tried  
can get these foul critters out of my hide!  
 
No herbs, no potions, no spells, no meds  
will cure me so I can get out of this bed!  
 
But I have a plan!  
(More like a theory)  
It may not kill germs,  
but makes sickness less dreary!  
 
If I must be apart and alone  
with my throat sprayed, my nose blown,  
trying just to hold my own,  
to keep my skin and muscle tone,  
 
I will not moan.  
I will not groan.  
I will not complain to my friends on the phone.  
 
What I WILL do is this:  
Ensure my own bliss!  
Crank up the tunes --  
Fill this abyss.  
 
And then, even if this plague does take me  
shakes me so bad that nothing can wake me  
and into a pile of ashes you make me...  
I still will have won!  
 
For I will have exposed the agents of my sickness,  
(those little buggers that took my health with a quickness)  
to some dope art music and backspinning slickness.  
That's what I will have done!  
 
And so, if I'm right, the next lucky victim will  
get something more from his bug than just a chill:  
a taste for Brian Eno and, maybe, Sugar Hill?"  
 
 
Thanks Philip Glass for bringing Art Music to the masses, and to Grand Master Flash for Scratching, Backspinning and being awesome.
My Life Story
Posted by r03 8 years ago
As generated while playing The Game of Real Life  
 
I got a little carried away this time.  
 
Dear Diary,  
 
My drunk-ass dad fisted me in the mouth. That is my earliest memory. But he must've done something right because I turned out pretty handsome. My skin is not so rosy anymore though, after smoking a pack of Camels a day since I was 8. I got beat up once when I was a teenager for being a white guy in the wrong part of town. It was shortly after that I found Allah. It changed me. I also got me a lot of pussy. I felt happy and healthy for a while. So I borrowed some money and became a day trader. It can be pretty lucrative...at times. I am having fun and decide to stay single. AGAIN I get beat up, this time jacked for my cash right after I dumped my fiancee. So I decide to take my recent earnings from the stock market and get out of town. I take a van tour of the U.S. Wow. That was fun. Then when I got back, I was very lonely for a while and treated myself badly. Then one day I got off my ass and went skiing for a week and it cheered me right up. But the skiing and the fucking a different snowbunny every night and the altitude got to me and my left lung collapsed...fucking cigarettes! I couldn't get out much for a while after that -- watched a lot of TV and internet porn. Not a pretty time in my life. Eventually I do go out though and meet a nice girl who makes me very happy for a while. I guess I make her happy too. Oh, by the way, FUCK Allah. Muslims are a bunch of crazy assholes who believe whatever they want to believe and blame it on a book! Just like Christians. Once again I manage to pull myself together and get healthy and active again. Away from the TV and the fanatics. For some reason the government has begun testing some weird wolf hybrid in our area...speaking of fanatics. It was no wonder they were testing those ninja-robot-wolf hybrids -- Canada invaded the U.S. this week. The invasion happened right here! I lost everything and am living as a refugee. I don't know what to do. I went to the grocery store and tired to trade a bunch of empty bottles for one full bottle of liquor. Thank god it worked. Fucking Canadians! One day I walk in to trade in my bottles and see my mom on TV: being tased by a couple of Mounties. She was on COPS, eh? I haven't eaten in a couple of days, but for some reason I feel stronger. The economy collapses after the Canadian invasion. I don;t care 'cause I'm broke anyway, but a lot of people lost a lot of $$. I start freaking out and fucking a lot of weird people, but I find this20 year old bitch who is in the same situation as me...and she is HOT. I have nothing but her and it is the best time of my life. I got a job on a fishing boat and I make a little cash and enjoy myself a lot. I remember spring coming in. Coming back to shore and seeing all the girls in their first-warm-day tight spring clothes...paradise! I laughed loud and long and felt great! Good times got interrupted, though, while jogging one day: a cougar that escaped from a nearby research facility viciously attacked me. Fucking Canadians! I have to wear support hose now. Somehow I still can get the ladies, though, so life is good. An old flame from high school even tracked me down on the internet after the cougar thing and fucked my brains out! Unfortunately she gave me a horrible flu virus that put me in the hospital for over a week. After I was released, the virus and the cougar attack had weakened me so much that the Canadians put me in a cut-rate nursing facility to die. And I do. I waste away quickly and without much joy. THE END
I'm a crazed country rebel
Posted by r03 10 years ago
Well, I was rollin' by myself, went down to Memphis, Tennessee  
and I was lookin' for a guy who had a mullet and no teeth  
and I was trippin' on some acid a latino gave to me  
Hey, I was smokin' morphine 'til it knocked me off my feet  
Then I scored some "H" from my old Uncle Pete  
now I'm startin' to feel like I might've ODed  
 
On an overdose of drugs, overdose of sin  
I'm gonna live it to the fullest like I'm on ten  
and I love gettin' high - hate bein' low  
and I like to drive my truck down a muddy dirt road  
and I'm workin' real hard, tryin' to get paid  
'cause I'm a crazed country rebel and I'm driftin' state to state  
 
Somehow I made it up to Texas with a carload full of grass  
and I'm seeing all these pigs who wanna bust my ass  
and I'm always livin' hard - always smokin' weed  
now I'm hangin' out in Texas drinkin' mushroom tea  
and I'm fucked up on the floor - think I know why,  
must've been some of that Boone county moonshine  
 
and an overdose of drugs, overdose of sin  
I'm gonna live it to the fullest like I'm on ten  
and I love gettin' high - hate bein' low  
and I'm always about stayin' on this road  
and I'm workin' real hard, tryin' to get paid  
'cause I'm a crazed country rebel and I'm driftin' state to state  
 
I tried to get up off the floor, tried to get myself in line  
'cause the ceiling's talkin' to me, and the pisser's flushin' fire  
That's why they call me 'full throttle' - I like a good time  
it all started at a bar with a friend of mine  
Had to hook me up - he said he'd blow my mind  
I've been up for four days so cut me out another line  
 
of an overdose of drugs, overdose of sin  
I'm gonna live it to the fullest like I'm on ten  
I love bein' high - hate bein' low  
and I like to drive my truck down a muddy dirt road  
and I'm workin' real hard, tryin to get paid  
'cause I'm a crazed country rebel and I'm driftin state to state  
I felt like Mr. Bean today
Posted by r03 10 years ago
It's time to renew my car registration (okay past time, which is why I cannot do it online) so I tromp down to the Tag Office this morning b4 work.  
 
I stand in line for like 10 minutes before I look up and read the LARGE sign that says: Cash or Check only, no Debit or Credit Cards....damn, all I brought was a credit card....so I leave and drive back to the house(luckily only 5 minutes away)and grab a check from the wifey...back to the office.  
 
I get barely inside the door before noticing another sign that I had somehow missed earlier: 2 forms of ID necessary if paying by check. FSCK! All I have on me is the check, my registration card, a $10 bill, and my Driver's License...1 form of ID...they wouldnt even bend the rules for me..for ME?!?!  
 
By this time...I have to head to work.  
 
Sheesh. So I gotta try to get out of here early today and go get some CASH outta the bank and head back to the Tag Office...there really is something to be said for proper planning.
This is going to be a good weekend.
Posted by r03 10 years ago
After a month of stressing over life's various hurdles, I am going to take a break.  
 
The wife and I are heading to SC to drop the kids off for a weekend at Lake Murray with Grammy and Cappie, then heading NE to Raliegh.  
 
While there we will be enjoying The Allman Brothers on Saturday night and then on Sunday I will be reacquainted with one of my best friends, with whom I have had no contact for over 10 years. I am excited.
Playing Dungeons & Dragons...
Posted by r03 10 years ago
...with lazy, unprepared people takes a long time and is very frustrating.  
 
KNOW YOUR CHARACTER! KNOW HIS ABILITIES! WRITE DOWN PERTINENT INFO ON YOUR CHAR SHEET AND A REFERENCE SHEET!  
 
It is no fun when 4 rounds of battle takes 3 hours to play.
Okay, so I only WISH I was stoned
Posted by r03 10 years ago
...but everything else is pretty accurate.  
 
Well I'm tired, I'm nervous, I'm bored, I'm stoned  
Don't you know life aint so easy when you're on your own  
I'm lonely, I'm ugly, I'm horny, I'm cold  
Don't you know life aint so easy when you're on your own  
Leaving home  
 
Well I got ripped off, wiped out, I got burned  
Don't you know life aint so easy when you're on your own  
I feel my mind is shaking out of place  
I look like a truck ran over my face  
The doctor says I'm not a hopeless case  
I really want to join the human race  
 
Well I got ripped off, wiped out, I got burned  
Don't you know life aint so easy when you're on your own  
Well I'm tired, I'm nervous, I'm bored, I'm stoned  
Don't you know life aint so easy when you're on your own  
Leaving home, on your own  
On your own  
 
EDIT: I'm not Cold either....quite the opposite
Before it's over...
Posted by r03 10 years ago
Happy Birthday Jerry.  
Thanks for everything.  
Didn't see this one coming.
Posted by r03 10 years ago
 
 
You're the Virgin Mary. How does it feel to have the fact that you never had sex be your namesake for all eternity?Take this quiz!  
 
 
 
 
As far as sex goes...
Posted by r03 10 years ago
You scored as Trombone, You're the talk of everything nasty and wild!

Trombone

100%

Percussion

100%

Flute

80%

Tuba

80%

Clarinet

60%

Saxophone

60%

Trumpet

60%

French Horn

40%
Sex and Musical Instruments
created with QuizFarm.com
Who the hell is Amanda Rowe?
Posted by r03 10 years ago
That is the very question I asked myself when the mysterious late night text came in.  
It read: "Amanda Rowe has added you as a friend. Text 'a' to add her as your friend. Text 'info' to find out more."  
 
Not only did I not know who Amanda Rowe was, I had no idea what service was sending me this text...  
So I get to the office the next morning and check my email and the same notification came to me by email, but this time I could tell from the return address it was from Facebook.  
"Oh yeah, I have a Facebook account!"  
So I log in so I can see who the hell Amanda Rowe is...did I meet her once and forget about her? Nope. I still don't know why she chose to friend me...i got no idea who she is...maybe I'm just that cute....  
Anyway, I had never set up my account..so Facebook greets me with a list of things I should do. The first on that list is to check for people from my high school who graduated with me...so I do. And lo and behold...there is my best friend from HS staring back at me!  
I have been doing searches for this guy for a while(I was certain I searched Facebook too, but I guess not)to no avail! But thanks to a random stranger on the internet, I finally found him.  
So thanks, Amanda Rowe, wherever you are.  
 
I never want to be a single father of two girls.
Posted by r03 10 years ago
wow. last night sucked balls.  
i came home early and mowed the lawn like a good boy;)  
when the girls got back to the house both babies were asleep so they got carried upstairs for a nap. SWEET! i did my chores and both kids are asleep....time to play hockey on PS2!!  
So i play a couple of games and then r03.2 wakes up and is in a most pleasant mood...then shortly thereafter r03.1 wakes up, comes downstairs and promptly goes to the couch to lay down again...i go over to check on her and i can feel the heat coming off her before i even touch her...oh jesus!  
so i get some tylenol in her and have her sipping on some juice in a cool bath to get her fever down...she so hot her head is hurting...i get her cooled down a bit...i dont even want to know what her temp was beforethe bath, cause AFTER it her temp was still over 103! so we go sit on her bed and try to get a little more juice in her(big mistake) and cool her down with cold compresses on her head...luckily r03.2 is obviously concerned for her big sis cause she is being really good through out all this even though she didnt get to eat her dinner till after 7 o'clock...then comes the projectile vomiting all over the bed, in r03.1's hair, everywhere, it was gross....i put her back in the tub and hosed the junk off her, gave her some more medicine(motrin this time) since she threw all the other up and put her in my bed to rest and be under the ceiling fan for a bit...her temp down to under 102 now, but she still acting all weird and she just wants to pass out...you know how a bad fever makes you feel?  
now i'm running around trying to cook some dinner and deal with r03.2's needs and get the bathroom cleaned up and sanitized and take r03.1's bedclothes off and go out into the yard and shake all the puke off em (i almost lost it myself at this point) so i can put em in the washer...totally yuck. I keep going to check on r03.1...put a movie on for both the kids to watch...she is starting to wake up and act more normal...so i get the girls some icee stuff to munch on to placate r03.2(she has had a hotdog and mixed veg. somehow at this point) and try to get r03.1's temp down more...still almost 102 so i call j03 at work to tell her to come home as soon as possible...  
of course as soon as i called r03.1 starts coming out of it, her fever finally going down to a manageable 100.6...whew! i was getting worried there.  
j03 gets home, the girls sit in bed with her so i can shower the ick off me finally...then i put r03.2 in her bed and lay with her till shes asleep before finally crashing out myself....what an eventful night.  
 
My dog is very smart.
Posted by r03 10 years ago
She is only 3 months old (or thereabouts) and she already sits on command without fail, comes when called without fail (even outside), has learned the proper place (the back yard) to "do her business", has completely stopped trying to get into the trash, and only plays with her own toys and doesn't try to steal them from my daughters.  
I feel very lucky.  
 
The only thing we need to work on is not jumping up on people as a greeting or when she gets excited, but she is doing much better in that area too.  
 
Good dog, Vega, good girl!!
HELP!
Posted by r03 10 years ago
Rosemary & Olive Oil Triscuits and Deadly Rooms of Death: Architect's Edition are working together to slowly kill me.
I...
Posted by r03 10 years ago
...have...an...ellipsis...addiction...  
 
 
Got a new addition to the r03 family
Posted by r03 10 years ago
 
 
10-week-old Australian Shepherd mix.  
Her name is Vega. (edit: oops, i mean v03)
linkfilteraudio.blogspot.com
Posted by r03 11 years ago
[Shameless promotion]  
[but i'm not getting paid or anything, it's for the people]  
 
I happened across a comment the other day which asked for a forum in which to trade audio clips.  
 
well, here it is.  
 
linkfilteraudio.blogspot.com  
 
plug in your computer mic and leave a message, or something, or listen to someone else's message.  
 
only the message title displays on the blog, so put your username in the title somewhere for clarity's sake.  
 
i just threw the thing together, so its ugly and uncomfortable. any suggestions would be welcome.  
 
hope you'uns enjoy.  
 
 
Quote for the day:
Posted by r03 11 years ago
"Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well."  
 
 
-Aristotle
Art night at r03's house last night.
Posted by r03 11 years ago
The younger daughter took a late nap and daddy came home early from work. So, the eld child and I brought out the drafting table and the paints. She was thrilled with the prospect of having her works displayed to the world at large. Here are a few:  
'Messy Hands'...  
 
...which led to 'Radioactive Cloud'  
 
'Outer Space'  
 
'Sun Dance'  
 
'Colors'  
 
and my fine work, 'Whorl'  
 
 
All are Crayola Acrylics on construction paper.
Sabbath Mode
Posted by r03 11 years ago
No, it's not a new musical effort from the members of Black Sabbath and Depeche Mode.  
 
It is a feature on my new gas oven.  
 
I give you the wiki explanation of features:  
 
"Sabbath mode is a feature in many modern appliances, including ovens and refrigerators which is intended to allow the appliances to be used (subject to various constraints) by Sabbath-observant Jews on the Sabbath and Jewish holidays.  
 
One of the Sabbath laws is that raw food may not be cooked on the Sabbath, but food which was already cooked beforehand may be kept warm until mealtime. On holidays, food may be cooked fresh, but turning the flame on is problematic. In the past, both of these could be accomplished simply by lighting a flame before the day begins, and using its heat over the course of the day. In recent decades, however, appliance manufacturers have instituted a safety feature which automatically shuts the heat after a number of hours. This renders the appliance useless for those who observe these religious laws.  
 
The key features of Sabbath mode ovens are that it disables the standard six- or twelve-hour cutoff and all lights and displays are disabled, so that no visible activity takes place when the oven door is opened.  
 
In more recent ovens, Sabbath mode will often feature the ability to adjust the temperature of the oven without any feedback to the operator of the oven. This is not relevant to the Sabbath, but is useful on holidays, when adjusting the heat is allowed, but changing a digital readout on the control panel is not, according to the prevailing Orthodox opinion and the minority Conservative view. With some Sabbath mode ovens that are controlled using a keypad to set the temperature, there is a random delay after a button is pressed before the temperature change takes place."  
 
Shomer Shabbas
I feel yucky
Posted by r03 11 years ago
I am plagued by a strong and general depression today.  
No thoughts of the truly good life I have will make it go away.  
My wife.  
My kids.  
My home and life I've worked so hard for.  
The birds.  
The trees.  
This glorious nature all around.  
All this stuff floats like meaningless flotsam  
atop a sea of dark despair.  
And I dont know why.  
 
I have fought this nasty stuff my entire life.  
It is crippling and uncomfortable.  
I KNOW enough to dismiss the suicidal thoughts when they come,  
but I cannot make myself FEEL how I want to.  
Talking with therapists has never done anything for me, though I haven't tried or trusted a therapist in long time.  
And there isn't a drug I have tried that doesn't make me feel differently worse.  
 
I want to go home and bury myself under the covers and squeeze my eyes shut until the darkness becomes everything, but I know I dont REALLY want to.  
 
Ack.  
Sorry for the depressing journal.  
The catharsis of writing this helps a bit though, thanks.
The Missing Earring -or- She Shoots Stars Out of Her Nose
Posted by r03 11 years ago
Ah. The joys of parenthood.  
 
Saturday afternoon my wife and eldest daughter were watching a movie and relaxing in my bed as I and my youngest daughter caught a quick nap. (The young one was in her bed in another room, I slumbered next to the other 2 gals in my bed)  
 
The wakeful and movie watching daughter was wearing stick-on earrings -- little jewelly things that stick with adhesive to your earlobe if you are inclined to wear earrings but lack the holes to do so -- and, of course, as 4 year olds do, she was taking them off and looking at them and putting back on, and taking em back off. No biggie.  
 
The catch is, however, she is doing this from a reclined position. So, when she loses her tiny grip on one of her tiny sticky jewel stars, it falls....RIGHT INTO HER RIGHT NOSTRIL!!  
 
I am awakened by the panic and bustle that resulted next to as the wife ushers the lucky new nose-ring-recipient into the bathroom for extraction. The thing is clearly visible(and quite pretty) in her nostril, but as the wife is approaching it with the tweezers...SNIFF. There it goes! Out of sight! GREAT!!  
 
...Speed dial the on-call nurse at the pediatrician who, amid notable sniggers, tells us that she will talk to the Doc and call us back. She calls back in 20 minutes(my daughter is SUPER CALM now and does not want to have to go to the doctor)and says they would like to see her...they have an opening at 4.  
 
Wake the other kid up, get presentable and go to the doctor...they look up her nostril with an otoscope or whatever you call it when its up your nose...and find nothing. Wherever it is, it's past the turbinates and not visible. Doc tells us she'll be fine for the weekend but, if the star does not return, we should go see an ENT on monday so they can look further and remove the thing if its still in there so as to not risk infection or eroded tissue or anything like that.  
 
So I am thrilled. For my birthday I am getting myself a specialist appointment for my lovely daughter!! WOO-HOO.  
 
Saturday night the fam and I go to a cookout at some friends' house and have a great time and stay up late. No star. Sunday we head out to check yard sales, visit some family and eat a nice meal out. No star. Give the girls a bath, blow the nose repeatedly. No star. We all go to bed expecting a call from the ENT the next morning with an appointment time. No damn star.  
 
This morning, though, I was awakened by one of the most surprisingly exciting phrases I have ever heard, "Daddy!! I just sneezed out my star!!"  
 
And sure enough, there, in a slightly sticky and moist little palm, was the star. Just in time.  
 
I have had a great day today.  
 
The progression/regression of my hairstyle this weekend.
Posted by r03 11 years ago
Friday: Medium-short length, wavy, part on the right, brown.  
 
 
Saturday: Blue-tinted mohawk  
 
 
Sunday: skinhead.  
Organic farmers can use synthetic pesticides on their organic produce...
Posted by r03 11 years ago
...as long as they have tried approved methods and they didn't work.  
 
more and more I am thinking: "organic...what a crock of sh!t."  
 
 
"A handler of an organic facility is required to implement practices designed to prevent pests.  
209 Permitted practices include, but are not limited to, the removal of habitat, food sources, and breeding areas for pests; prevention of pest access to handling facilities; and manipulation of environmental factors, such as humidity and temperature, designed to prevent pest reproduction.  
210 A handler of an organic facility may manage existing pests by using mechanical or physical control such as traps, light, or sound.  
211 A handler can also use lures and repellents that contain nonsynthetic or synthetic substances as long as those substances are used in accordance with the standards set forth in the National List.  
212 If neither the preventative pest practices or practices for controlling pests existing in the facility are successful, a nonsynthetic or synthetic substance listed as allowed on the National List may be applied to the organic facility.  
In the event that none of the pest management practices described in the previous paragraph effectively prevent or control pests in an organic facility, a synthetic substance not allowed under the National List may be used.
 
 
WOW.
Cube Update
Posted by r03 11 years ago
Yesterday's(2/19) 10-cube average (12 cubes solved, highest and lowest scores dropped):  
 
1:40:58  
 
 
thats one minute..not an hour thanks. ;-)  
 
I only have a minute, ten seconds to shave off to reach my goal.  
Should take about six months.  
 
Ah Vacation!
Posted by r03 11 years ago
The wife and I had a wonderful trip to West Bygod Virginia this past week.  
Three days were utterly filled with skiing and debauchery. A good time was had by all.  
My friends Jen and Wes got engaged on the trip, which was very cool.  
Apart from that: much drinking, loudness, skiing and fun.  
 
Click on the picture for more!!  

(oh, btw, that's me all the way to the right[your right])  
 
 
 
and i just remembered this video  
 
My buddy tony passed out before the rest of us on his birthday(thursday) which earned him a condom-covered banana in the crack...i am still not sure why this is funny, i must not have been drunk enough i guess