Cover Letters from Hell
Posted by scilec in entertainment 11 years ago
Along with every résumé we get is a cover letter. Composing one seems to have a Difficulty Rating of 11, since that's where we find the most tortured prose ever set to paper. For example:  
 
"I expect the position to pay commissary to that of its value, as well as to the performance completed."  
 
Or, decode this:  
 
"It is my desire to develop and generate the revolving scheme to filter to the consuming public in."  
 
Below are a couple dozen examples gleaned from these efforts, to amaze and horrify you. It's an ever-changing gallery of mangled syntax and/or obtuseness, since a new monstrosity arrives about weekly.
HAHAHAHA
cherwilco: "I am seeking a new position as i have recently been laid."
cherwilco: wow I gained a level with that comment!
j d ess: you have indeed been laid
guess I better
crustacean: rewrite that letter