I'm less than five days away from the start of my retirement, and I feel I've been pretty lucky for most of my life, except for the times I made bad decisions. Let's hope I'm not actually playing a bit part in a bad action movie!
[quote]Retirony is a way to make the audience feel sorry for a character's death without having to actually give him more than ten minutes of screen time. Anybody in a dangerous job who's only a few days away from retirement or flying one last mission before going home to marry their childhood sweetheart is absolutely doomed to death by Retirony, whether that takes the form of a cold-blooded criminal, an ace German fighter pilot or a great big robotic monster.[/quote]
Watch the question mark suit guy from those old TV commercials do a twitchy little dance to some bleeps and bloops.
I'm going to cut the preamble here and get straight to the chase: what the hell is going on in this GIF? How did it all happen? Did a troupe of butterflies flap their wings really hard on the other side of the planet, and through the Super Chaos Theory cause this everyman's Cirque du Soleil? I don't even know where this comes from...or who filmed it, but I want to know what is going on. I need to know. Let's Zapruder this GIF.
For now, you can send your annoying telemarketers to my friendly and agreeable robot. It will happily chat with them for several minutes. Then take a moment to recognize the potential of this. If you had a Jolly Roger Telephone bot answering your phone, the autodialers will always think it’s a real person and cut through to an agent. Who cares if they figure it out in just a few minutes? Although typically it’s a lot longer – see my YouTube channel for samples. The point is the autodialers will cut through to an agent every time they hit one of these bots. That will break their business model. It will cut their outbound capacity dramatically.

On July 20, 1969, the Apollo 11 mission completed its journey to the moon. Although its crew of Neil Armstrong, Edwin Aldrin, and Michael Collins were highly trained, there was a significant possibility of disaster, and everyone knew that the astronauts might not make it back.

In case the mission ended in tragedy, President Nixon had a speech on hand to deliver to the nation to address the demise of the astronauts. The speech was written by one of President Nixon’s top speechwriters, William Safire, and sent as a memo to Nixon’s chief of staff, H.R. Haldeman, the night before the mission. It was finally unveiled to the public in 1999.
Dad Shoes
Why do Dads love Dad Shoes so much?
The answer is twofold:
1. They are leather - Most sneakers are made out of different materials, but your dad knows that leather is the only sneaker worthy material.
2. They are white - My father always told me that if a shoe or article of clothing is black, then it will be very hot once it is exposed to the sun. In other words, if he bought black shoes his feet would roast in the summer time.

Allie Goertz and Julie Prescott talk to their favorite writers and comics about the Simpsons.

Most of the episodes are pretty solid, but dig around for a name you recognize for your first listen.

Six pictures make a solid point. Do you disagree?

Roland, court minstrel to 12th century English king Henry II, probably had many talents.  
But history has recorded only one.  
Referred to variously Rowland le Sarcere, Roland le Fartere, Roland le Petour, and Roland the Farter, Roland really had one job in the court: Every Christmas, during the court’s riotous pageant, he performed a dance that ended with “one jump, one whistle, and one fart”, executed simultaneously.  
For this, Roland was gifted a manor house in Hemingstone, Suffolk, and more than 100 acres of land. For farting on cue.
Written? Kitten!
A write/reward site that shows you a picture of a kitten (or puppy or bunny) for every 100 words you write. An inspirational motivator for those of us who need it to get our writing done.
“We respectfully ask you not to include the hotel in mother AME photos. TY.”  
An insane message in our insane era. The implicit thought here is that, because a white supremacist killed nine people inside that church, the church is now toxic for the purposes of conducting commerce and promoting tourism to the extent that its very existence should be denied.
Batman 66 Labels
The campy old Batman television show put ridiculous explanatory labels on everything. This excellent Twitter feed collects them for your enjoyment.
Sausage Dog Chariot
Sausages on a roll! Three exuberant, fun-loving miniature Dachshunds - with the combined stamina of an ox and speed of a Greyhound - give two family members a chariot ride with a difference.