Roland, court minstrel to 12th century English king Henry II, probably had many talents.  
 
But history has recorded only one.  
 
Referred to variously Rowland le Sarcere, Roland le Fartere, Roland le Petour, and Roland the Farter, Roland really had one job in the court: Every Christmas, during the court’s riotous pageant, he performed a dance that ended with “one jump, one whistle, and one fart”, executed simultaneously.  
 
For this, Roland was gifted a manor house in Hemingstone, Suffolk, and more than 100 acres of land. For farting on cue.
Lemmy Kilmister, founding member and frontman of Motörhead. has died. He was 70 years old.  
 
News of his death was first reported by radio and TV host Eddie Trunk, who was a longtime friend of Lemmy. Several others have since confirmed the news, including Black Sabbath frontman Ozzy Osbourne, who wrote on Twitter, “Lost one of my best friends, Lemmy, today. He will be sadly missed. He was a warrior and a legend. I will see you on the other side.”
It’s Christmas Day, and you know what that means: time to plumb the depths of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits. We’re looking for the weirdest, least explicable, and most awkward objects that America has shoved inside its various holes. God bless us, everyone.
Macho Man Randy Savage -- one of the greatest wrestlers of all-time -- died today in a car accident in Tampa, Florida.  
 
TMZ spoke with Randy's brother, Lanny Poffo, who tells us the wrestling legend suffered a heart attack while he was behind the wheel around 9:25 AM ... and lost control of his vehicle.  
 
 
:(
A massive 8.9-magnitude quake hit northeast Japan on Friday, causing dozens of deaths, more than 80 fires, and a 10-meter (33-ft) tsunami along parts of the country's coastline. Homes were swept away and damage is extensive. As more images of this historic event become available, they will be added.
It’s hard to believe that a fight this bad could erupt when the only thing she asked for was some maple syrup for her pancakes.  
 
A mass brawl ensued when one girl asked another table if they could have some syrup, and got the response: ‘Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me’.  
 
The fight started in a Denny's restaurant in Chicopee, Massachusetts, when one group of girls did not have enough maple syrup.  
 
Scroll down for video.  
 
It's more likely than you think.  
 
Colonoscopies are gross and scary enough on their own without cockroaches being introduced into the mix – but the photograph that you see before you is of exactly that: a cockroach in someone’s colon, a live one no less.
and a US Military official is murdered?  
 
 
A shocking report prepared for Prime Minister Putin by the Foreign Military Intelligence Directorate (GRU) states that one of the United States top experts in biological and chemical weapons was brutally murdered after he threatened to expose a US Military test of poison gas that killed hundreds of thousands of birds and fish in Arkansas this past week.  
 
According to this report, John P. Wheeler III, Special Assistant to the Secretary of the Air Force, Washington, D.C. from 2005-2008, when he became the Special Assistant to the Acting Assistant Secretary of the Air Force for Installations, Logistics and Environment, was found brutally murdered and dumped in a landfill.
BRITISH pop group Wham!'s 1984 hit single Last Christmas was voted most annoying Christmas song in a poll in Bulgaria, beating Mariah Carey's All I want for Christmas, organisers have revealed.  
 
""I think these songs are the reason for Christmas depressions and suicides," added another pollster, Yordan Stamenov."  
 
 
[Wham!]
Childhood obesity isn't the first thing that comes to mind when you think about the military. But Mission: Readiness, a D.C.-based organization of retired generals, admirals, and civilian military leaders, is seriously worked up about the epidemic. In "Too Fat to Fight," a new report released on the Hill today, the group says more than 27 percent of Americans between the ages of 17 and 24—that's more than 9 million young men and women—are too overweight to join the military. And it's calling on Congress to do something about it: to get junk food out of schools and to provide more-effective programs for kids to lose weight. "I was overwhelmed by the number," says Mission's Lt. Gen. Norman Seip, who retired from the U.S. Air Force last fall. "We need a force out there that's fit to fight."
Tron is really weird, and doesn't make much sense. And strange as it seems, it makes even less sense as a video game.  
 
I’m excited for the Tron: Legacy movie tomorrow, and in my fervor I convinced myself it was a good idea to go buy and play the Tron: Evolution game since it acts as a bridging story between the first and second movies. At the checkout counter in Best Buy, the young man at the register aksed me, “Cool, is this about riding around on motorcycles and shooting people?” He’d never seen the original Tron and knew nothing about it. I didn’t know where to begin, so I just left it at, “It’s more complicated than that . . .”
Microsoft Corp. officials are considering using the camera on their new Kinect videogame system to target ads to people watching the games.  
 
Dennis Durkin, who serves as chief operating officer and chief financial officer for Microsoft’s Xbox video game business, told investors Thursday that Kinect - which allows users to play video games without so much as a joystick - presents business opportunities for targeted game marketing and advertising.  
 
Note the updated statement from Microsoft at the bottom of the article. Somebody let the cat out of the bag, it seems!
In China, white people can be rented.  
 
For a day, a weekend, a week, up to even a month or two, Chinese companies are willing to pay high prices for fair-faced foreigners to join them as fake employees or business partners.  
 
Some call it "White Guy Window Dressing." To others, it's known as the "White Guy in a Tie" events, "The Token White Guy Gig," or, simply, a "Face Job."  
 
The requirements for these jobs are simple. 1. Be white. 2. Do not speak any Chinese, or really speak at all, unless asked. 3. Pretend like you just got off of an airplane yesterday.
Among the glitz and the glamour, the sequins and the hairspray, there are a few contestants on the pageant circuit not quite like the others. They're pageant boys, competing for crowns in a girls' world.  
 
Tracy Miller says her son, Zander, is one of the best. "I'm always surprised when Zander wins," she said. "And we mainly do them for fun and because he enjoys doing it. So, it's just like, you know, you put your child in baseball or soccer or swimming. They enjoy doing it. So, this is what Zander enjoys."  
 
The 6-year-old from Missouri has been competing since he was a baby.  
 
"They're fun, and you get to win a bunch of trophies and crowns," Zander said.  
 
*facepalm*
A FARMER has been arrested for killing a pervert who had sex with his prize donkey — while wearing lingerie and a pair of slippers.  
 
Cops say Jose Gomes Pinto, 55, slashed the man's throat with a razor after discovering he had violated his favourite ass — a donkey named Russo.