Is there so much music on your computer that you're not aware of everything you have?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 10 years ago, closed 10 years ago
Yes. iTunes measures my library in geologic eras
0%
Yes, but everything is tagged
57%
No, I just don't have that much music
14%
No, my capacity for memorizing ID3 tags is impossible to exceed
0%
No, because I am having too much trouble with my LP collection to worry about digital music
0%
I don't remember getting this Lenny Bruce album
28%
Where do you get your music?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 11 years ago, closed 11 years ago
Tower Records
0%
iTunes
6%
BMG Music Service
0%
allofmp3.com
6%
Empire Records
6%
Wal-Mart
0%
Piracy, peg-leg and all
50%
Amazon.com
25%
Promos from labels and radio stations
0%
the back of the truck behind Best Buy
6%
Since you 'tards hate Arrested Development, what show are you really pining for?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 11 years ago, closed 11 years ago
Family Ties
0%
Full House
0%
The Love Boat
0%
My Two Dads
12%
Miami Vice
12%
ALF
25%
Growing Pains
0%
Silver Spoons
12%
Bosom Buddies
0%
Night Court
37%
Do you tend to hoard things?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 11 years ago, closed 11 years ago
Yes, I keep lots of receipts
16%
Yes, I've got every baseball player card I've bought since I was 6
0%
Yes, I keep everything, and plan to print this poll out and file it under CRAP
66%
No, I'm pretty good about cleaning out things
16%
No, I tend to dispose shortly after they've lost their utility
0%
No, I go to such lengths to keep things spartan that I tend to be shortsighted
0%
No, as soon as I'm done answering this poll, I'm throwing away my computer
0%
Why is Substandard obsessed with the Dutch?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 11 years ago, closed 11 years ago
Windmills
10%
Clogs
30%
Ice Skating
0%
Tulips
20%
Famke Janssen
20%
Writing umlauts over every other letter
20%
How many pints of bitter should I have before lunch?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 11 years ago, closed 11 years ago
None. Tee-total it fool.
14%
One
0%
Two
14%
Three
0%
Floor
71%
You Must Polanski!
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
The Ninth Gate
9%
The Pianist
0%
Rosemary's Baby
18%
The Fat and the Lean
0%
Knife in the Water
9%
Diary of Forbidden Dreams
0%
Chinatown
36%
The Baconist
27%
You Must Pule!
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Whine
25%
Whimper
12%
Blubber
0%
Bawl
0%
Moan
0%
Sob
0%
Weep
0%
Wail
0%
Yowl
37%
Norbert!
25%
What's the most satisfying way to leave a job?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
No show
22%
2 weeks notice
13%
Poach good coworkers for a new company
36%
Sabotage your own project
4%
Post nude pictures of you bosses wife in the lunchroom
13%
Brawl with the executive VP
0%
Liberate your desk and computer
0%
Fill your supervisor's cube with raw bacon
9%
Do explosions outside of your window remind you of a previous job?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Yes
37%
No
50%
I remember it clearly. It was the long, hot summer of 1965, and the funlegs were restless...
12%
What do you call your boss?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
TBG (The Boss Guy)
8%
bossGina
0%
PHB (Pointy Haired Boss)
0%
Stress Monkey
16%
Captain Passive-Aggressive
8%
Cleetus the slack-jawed yokel
8%
Hitler (Titler in certan regions)
8%
Norbert the Magnanimous
0%
other?
50%
What's the best Beastie Boys track?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
The Negotiation Limerick File
14%
Shadrach
7%
Root Down
0%
So What'cha Want
7%
Shake Your Rump
14%
Sabotage
0%
Sure Shot
14%
Pass the Mic
0%
Intergalatic (Space Onley Imperial March)
0%
something else?
42%
Which game makes less sense?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Baseball
31%
Cricket
52%
Bacon toss
15%
Does Texas chili have beans in it?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Hell yeah!
50%
Yes.
10%
No.
40%
Beans in chili? Have you gone mad?
0%
I put ground up Norbert in my chili.
0%
Your'e being chased by the police. You decide to...
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Flee on foot through a crowded neighborhood.
8%
Steal a minivan and hope the cops are having car trouble.
0%
Put on a clever disguise and lay low.
25%
Hijack a transit bus and hold everyone hostage.
8%
Turn yourself in to avoid any further trouble.
16%
Create a poll soliciting advice from people you don't even know.
16%
(you have a better suggestion?)
25%
Are you an Islamofascist? (for The Exile)
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Yes.
14%
Of course, who isn't an Islamofascist?
14%
What, did someone tell you that I wasn't?
0%
I'm still a provisional member. I still have to kill eight more infidels.
0%
It was them or the Space Onleys, and I'm not ready for a rectal implant yet.
14%
I'm a card carrying Islamocrat.
7%
Nope, I'm an Islamostalinist.
14%
I was an Islamocan, but I left the party and became an Islamopendent.
21%
This poll is satirical, isn't it?
7%
This poll is ironic, right?
7%
What's the best impolite name for a seat cushion?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Ass Gasket
40%
The Two-Cheek Comforter
0%
Butt Coupler
40%
Bung Shim
20%
Which Kawasaki should I buy?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Vulcan 1600 Nomad
60%
Vulcan 2000
20%
Vulcan 1600 Classic
20%
You Must May-Day!
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Get drunk and show off what the lawd gave ya.
9%
Workers of the world, unite!
9%
Pull the plane out of its' nose dive, or eject and save your own ass.
0%
Dance around the maypole.
0%
Kick the crap out of inebriated undergrads stumbling through your lawn.
18%
Recover from your Cinco de Mayo hangover
18%
Buy more bacon, and pray for guidance.
45%
Does Linkfilter need more bling?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Naw. Linkfilter's already got crunk.
38%
Yeeeyaah! The filter could use some Spreewells, a big sub, and gold trim.
61%
What's yer favorite Robert Townsend movie?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
The Meteor Man
22%
Hollywood Shuffle
22%
I'm Gonna Git You Sucka!
55%
The Monkey Hu$tle
0%
Brothas Don't Eat Bacon
0%
What movie or tv show was David Cross best in?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Mr. Show
30%
Pootie Tang
0%
Waiting for Guffman
0%
Arrested Development
50%
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
0%
Oliver Beene
0%
Scary Movie 2
20%
Ghost World
0%
The Thin Pink Line
0%
Has tolerance become passé?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Yes, differences should be eliminated, not celebrated.
0%
Yes, antipathy is all the rage now.
0%
Yes, I believe we're moving towards true acceptance of other's beliefs and origins.
0%
Yes. Shut up fucktard.
60%
No, I've always hated brown people.
0%
No, because tolerance is easier than acceptance for most people.
0%
No, as long as people respect themselves and their own beliefs, most will tolerate others.
0%
No, country ham is as legitimate a pork dish as bacon.
40%
You must hate America.
0%
Does blackvelvetjesus hate America?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Yes
0%
Yes?
0%
No
0%
No!
0%
This poll is ironic, isn't it?
8%
This poll is satirical, right?
8%
You must hate America
0%
Space Onleys took my nipples
75%
This looks oddly familiar...
8%
Which version of the New Testament is your favorite?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
KJV, King James Version
16%
BJV, Black Jesus Version
50%
RJV, Rick James Version
33%
How fuel efficient is your ride?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
10 moles per gallon
9%
18 squid per furlong
9%
22 otters per hectare
9%
12 Space Onleys per light-year
45%
8 hamsters per foot (excluding 4-cycle hamster burners)
9%
70 coconuts per fathom
0%
5 witches per cubit
0%
805 kittens per micron
18%
Are Americans Deaf to Satire and Irony?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Yes
8%
Yes?
8%
No
8%
No!
8%
This poll is ironic, isn't it?
0%
This poll is satirical, right?
16%
You must hate America
8%
Space Onleys took my nipples
41%
Who's Your Favorite Iran-Contra Figure?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Otto Reich (State Department PR man under Reagan; possible Assistant Secretary of State)
0%
John Negroponte (ambassador to Honduras under Reagan; soon to be Director of National Intelligence)
10%
Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North (member of National Security Council under Reagan; now a Fox News flak)
35%
Admiral John Poindexter (member of National Security Council under Reagan; now with DARPA)
5%
Casper Weinburger (former Secretary of Defense)
5%
George H. W. Bush (Vice-President under Reagan, now a prominent shareholder in the Carlyle Group)
5%
Thomas Clines (former CIA case officer; only figure to do jail time)
0%
Ronald Reagan (former President of the United States)
20%
Robert McFarlane (former National Security Adviser to Reagan)
0%
Other (Bill Casey, Ed Meese, Elliot Abrams...)
20%
Which is the better Johnny Cash album?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
At Folsom Prison
45%
At San Quentin
9%
America
9%
Space Onleys Got Meh Guitar
36%
Are Space Onleys trolling on Linkfilter?
Posted by blackvelvetjesus 12 years ago, closed 12 years ago
Yes
0%
No
0%
Space Onleys don't exist
7%
Shh...the Space Onleys might hear you!
92%